Vegan Sponge Cake

2012-01-21T16:21:00.002Z

I made this really nice Vegan sponge cake earlier. This is a bad photograph. The cake tasted really nice. :)

First day nerves - Tales from the new boy.

2012-01-07T23:06:00.002Z

We all remember first day nerves, I remember my first day at secondary school, aged 13, I rode up the driveway on my bike to this Edwardian Building, with it's Art Deco detailing, got off and wheeled it into the Boys-Only entrance. Then I promptly caught the pedal on the riser of the step into the building and fell over. This sight caused much amusement to some older boys in the 5th year who were stood watching. I felt very embarrassed.

First day as a Graphic designer I was asked to design a greetings card for a garden centre so I went out into the street to collect grass/flowers and twigs which I could scan and draw... much to the amusement of the other designers who told me I wasn't at university now and they didn't do that kind of lateral thinking in the studio, instead I should just draw something or use clip-art.

First day as a teacher, walking into a classroom and wondering what I had to say to get a noisy class to be quiet! I held my hand up and counted down from 5...4...3...2....1 slowly one by one, every hand started to rise and the class were quiet.. 2 minutes later that were chucking paper planes and shouting again.

I started my new job this week. Another first day. I got off the bus in the city centre and suddenly found myself in the middle of a torrential downpour, soaked to the skin I had to sit in the office, drenched, but slowly drying out and smelling like a damp dog. I have a 3-4 week induction plan which includes training, being mentored and visits, as well as out of office additional training to attend. It's very in depth, but interesting. There is an acronym for everything and for everything an acronym.

Even though as a supply teacher every day was in effect my first day, I knew the routines and stock phrases, children are children where ever I went, different names but same characters. Here though, in this new job I am the new boy and suffer those first day nerves for real. I don't know the building, or the stock phrases, and there are no children to manage. I am the new boy, wearing a suit/shirt and tie when every other man in the office has a shirt with top button undone. I am the new boy taking my packed lunch and leaving it in my bag when everyone else loads up the communal fridge. I am the new boy, trying to learn everyone's names and giving weak hand shakes when being introduced to someone else. I am the new boy here. Luckily though I'm not alone, their is another new boy, who started 3 weeks ago, and a new girl who started same day as me.

Each night this week I've gone to bed and not managing to fully relax as I'm anxious about what to expect from the following day. Once in the office I'm having to ask permission to do certain things, where as in the classroom I was used my word being the final word, in this new environment I'm a team member. I'm trying to get used to life without a bell defining time for me, marking a new lesson, a new segment of the day. Hardest of all I'm having to adjust to a longer working day, which leaves me drained and only fit for bed - I wonder when I'll paint or write again. I realise now how lucky and spoilt I've previously been with my time.

The office is in the city and parking is very difficult, infact impossible. Last week I'd been going on the bus the cost of which soon adds up so much so that I've bought a bike my first since 2003.

The mountain bike has 18 gears, mudflaps, lights, a lock and a bell! What I didn't expect was how unfit I'd become over the last 9 years. In the shop I attempted to hop on the seat to try it for size. Only I couldn't hoist my leg over the cross bar. The shop keeper saw me lowering the angle of the bike, like a reverse limbo dancer raising the bar to make it easier, and offered to steady the front wheel while I climbed on.

After I'd paid for the cycle I walked it over the local park and mounted it. They say, you never forget how to ride a bike, my mind hadn't forgot but my body certainly had. I pedalled gingerly around the park, trying not to ride into dog walkers and joggers. Veering left and right like some drunk in charge of a childs skooter. My legs refusing to provide the necessary energy to propell me forwards. I have been driving a car for the last 7 years and didn't realise how lazy I'd become. My legs must have turned to mush. Had it been that long? I felt so nervous on the road, like it was my first time.

When I was thinking about writing this blog I realised the link between my nervous bike riding and my anxiety about starting to the new job. In many ways I'm hoping that soon I'll be riding none-handed in the office, balancing all the files and dodging all the acronyms.

New Years Resolutions

2012-01-02T22:24:00.000Z

Visit Bux

String Theory Sketchbook

2011-12-28T16:48:00.000Z

If anyone is interested in looking, I've made an Issuu book of my String Theory sketchbook. I love sketchbooks and often get a lot more from the process of creating, than the final creation itself. The Sketchbook is A3 in size, ring bound with a lot of stuff paper clipped in and bound with string, sadly I couldn't add in the extras into this view. I hope you get the idea thou.

If you click Expand you'll get the full screen version

Old Years Resolutions

2011-12-21T18:17:00.001Z

It was exactly a year ago I evaluated my 2010 resolutions, so I thought I'd do the same with 2011's resolutions today.

I made a short list this year and I'm curious to know what I've achieved. The resolutions were :-

1. Get a new job. - Yes!

Yay! As you all know, if you've been following the blog, I have indeed shaken off the shackles of temporary agency work (after nearly 10 years) and got what my dad says is.. "a proper job". Starting the 3rd of Jan which I'm very excited about.

2. Save up and pay off 10% of my mortgage. - Yes

I'm not sure why I made this resolution, I think because I needed it putting in stone that I would actually do it. The reality was that I paid off 10% of the mortgage in Jan 2011 and I have also managed to save up a further 10% ready to pay off next month too! : )

3. Buy new clothes. - No

I haven't bought any new clothes this year.

4. Be positive and confident, say yes more, engage with new opportunities. - Yes

I'm going to say yes to this. To help my job search, I contacted a local community centre who were running a back to work type project. I signed up and once a week we met to discuss my job search. This was purely voluntary. The worker, Natalie, would search through job papers and the net looking for any suitable work and when we met up she'd say have you seen this job or that job.. It was really great because I don't have motivation for that kind of thing. The idea that you are having to meet someone pushes you into looking for work.

As a direct result of those meetings, Natalie asked me if I'd like to be a trustee for the community centre. It would involve meeting once a month with the other trustees and deciding on stuff that would effect the community centre. It's purely voluntary. It's something totally out of my comfort zone, but because I'd been to the centre for Job search program I was familiar with the staff in the building who are really nice. I agreed. So now I'm on the board. We meet up everything month and find out how the centre is running and decide if improvements need to be made. It's very interesting.

So yeah, I think I've engaged with new opportunities this year and I've felt more confident in myself from it.

5. Read more books, listen to and be accepting of a wider range of music. -Yes

I'm not sure I've read a book this year, I'm always dipping in and out of books though. usually poetry books, Brian Pattens book was sent to me via Bux and I read that, also some teaching books. I'm not sure I've listened to a wider range of music I have listened to many new bands this year, which is always exciting.. including Black Keys, Raveonettes, Bon Ivor, and Miles Kane. However, some older artists have had albums out this year including Thomas Dolby and Elvis Costello - his new album is great..

6. Draw, paint and write more. - Yes.

Wow, this is what I wrote back in January.. "I need to finish my paintings and get further with my dream of having an exhibition in one of the local galleries. Not that I can plan ahead so much for this but I want to write some good poems too." as you know, if you follow my blog. I managed to get 21 paintings together and put on an exhibition, currently showing. I'm extremely proud and can't quite believe I've been that creative this year. The pictures look amazing in that space too. (See previous blog for pictures)

7. Face my fear of travelling. - No

I didn't achieve this, although I'm getting a lot better, I went to Liverpool this year again on my own, to see Bux and had a fantastic time. This is something I really want to work on this year.

8. Be less defensive with people. - No/Yes

This is something that I struggle with on a day-to-day basis, even to the point where I'm insulting people because I so uptight about what they might think of me. Am I less defensive? I'm not sure, maybe, marginally.. I hope.. it's a hard one to measure. I think maybe I am less, I was adamant that I wouldn't go to a Job Club to seek help finding work, but then as the months ticked on I realised that ego has no place and people were only trying to help.. Once I'd made that change it was so strange.. the job came my way, the trustee position was offered, the gallery space opened up.. maybe I have changed a little more than I thought. I think with my dad... um... maybe I'll never get a handle on it.. maybe I'll always have to just keep myself in check.

9. Have one new experience a month!

I've probably done this but not realised.. I initially wanted to deliberately give myself a new experience but looking back over the year I have had some great firsts.

Best Moments of the Year

Undoubtedly meeting Bux on our annual Liverpool get together.. We had such a great time, and I will defo stay longer next year.
Seeing 10cc and Graham Gouldman with my dad earlier on in the year was great.
Getting a new job was a fantastic feeling
Having my paintings finally shown was thrilling.

New Job

2011-12-20T14:00:00.000Z

For those who have been following my relentless job searching escapades.. (I've been looking for a new job on and off for years, but this summer I started seriously looking) you'll be pleased to know that this afternoon (24.10.11) at 4.41pm I was finally offered a job!!!

Of course me, being me, I didn't actually realise for over an hour cos I didn't check my emails.

I feel like I've been picked first in the school football team, after years of being picked last! I am very happy, excited and nervous about what the next month will bring. One thing is certain however, I will not be working with children any more, after ten years of working in secondary schools and colleges I'm hanging up my board marker, I'm retiring my detention slips and tick chart. I'm joining the grown up world of pen pushing, filing and stamping. (all the same things just without the children)

"No dark sarcasm in the classroom" sang Pink Floyd, too right. No longer will I be called E.T, Paul the Alien, Bowling ball Paul!, D*ckhead, W*nker, Oi!, Voldemort, Baldy!, eww that supply again!, oh no i hate you!, No longer will I have chairs thrown at me from across the classroom, all for asking a pupil to move seats. No more will I be throttled by a year 9 boy for asking him to turn his mobile phone off. No longer will an argument erupt over a pupil picking up a piece of paper or me having to supply yet another pen to yet another child who can't afford one but still manages to ring mum on his iPhone 4 in the lesson!

I will not miss those early morning calls and the anxiety of not knowing which school I'll be going to, then having to go into the most challenging educational environments in the area and sit there thinking is this a dream? Is it really reality?

I'll really miss the girls at the various agencies who have constantly provided me with work over the last decade. I'll miss my contacts at the schools who try their best to give me an interesting day (3 Spanish lessons, for an art teacher who can't speak any languages! sure Baz will do that!). I'll miss some of the great teachers I've met and worked with. I will genuinely miss my holidays and finishing the working day at 3.30pm. I will miss the friends I've made at some of the schools. I won't miss the mileage on my car or the bridge tolls.

Strange to think I've taught children who are now 26 years old and whom are out there living their lives, with hopefully a good memory of school. I'd like to think I've been a good teacher, and certainly many children over the years have said "Yay!!!! We've got 'im again!" and "Sir, you're the best teacher, can't we have you all the time!?"..to which I've said "You're only saying that because you're getting away with listening to your ipod" and then the girl who said. "Sir your voice sounds like melted chocolate" and on her leaving day, even thou I'd only taught her once, came and said she really enjoyed that one lesson and I was a cool teacher. Then there were the 4 year ten boys who would come into my lessons singing various REM songs insistent that I was Michael Stipe. I couldn't help but laugh and sing along with them. Or the year 7 girl (4 years ago) who had me as her art teacher for 6 months and sent me a thank you card at the end of term, (which I still have) and inside it says "thank you for being my teacher this year I have learned a lot". Or the Sixth Form A-Level Photography group who, upon hearing I was leaving, set up a "Save Baz!" Facebook page, in order to convince the college to give me a full time job!!

I will miss doing my paper registers, passing a sheet around the room and asking everyone to sign their names. On checking it to discover Chris Packet and Phil McCrackin where also in my science lessons. When I first started teaching Saddam was student, then Bin Laden, and now Gadaffi.. Along with Micheal Jackson and Obama regularly make an appearance. I've taught the worlds greatest dictators, leaders, icons and even fictional superheroes The best bit of course was reading the names out in class (purely to check I had everyone there - officially you understand) and the laughter when I read out "Ivor Biggun?" "is Batman here today?" and "It says here that Thomas is gay, is that right Thomas?" and the shouts of "yes he is" by several lads at the back of the class.

Other great memories include me having to call in senior member of staff for this particularly naughty class. The deputy head walked in and proceeded to shout at the class. I was stood behind her and watching the faces of these children. It suddenly dawned on me that everything this woman was saying was such a cliché! and then my mouth cracked at the corner and started to turn into a smile, I had to turn to face away from the class cos I found the whole scene so incredibly funny. Then one of the pupils shouted out. "even sir finds it funny, look he's laughin!!!!". This made the whole thing worse because then I had to try to straighten my face and pretend I wasn't, which as you'll appreciate is hard to do. Afterwards I apologised to the deputy head who said "don't worry I've done the same thing many times. "

Great times and some sad times too. Great teachers who have retired and sadly some who have died. The nature of supply teaching is I see it all. Thankfully I even managed to teach one student in sixth form who I later worked with as a teacher. The circle completed

Feels like a million years ago I first went to what was the Amy Johnson school and witnessed my first pupil lovingly shout "f*** off!" all for asking her to come into the classroom. Halcyon days.. I often think about her and wonder where she is now. Then I think about the headmaster who told me not to correct pupils if they swore, cos I'd spend an entire lesson correcting instead of teaching. I ignored this advice.

Looking back I'm not sure how I've managed all these years, friends have told me that I must be so patient and they couldn't do what I've done. I don't know how I've done it either. I don't consider myself confident, I'm not sure how I've stood up in front of 150 different people every day and took control of a classroom situation.

-- update 10 dec 2011.. still waiting for CRB to clear before I can start new job.
-- update 20 dec 2011.. finally got an official start date :)

I am the god of Hell Fire

2011-12-13T19:42:00.000Z

The surround to my fireplace isn't fitted, but that doesn't stop me from lighting it. It's been properly backfilled with vermiculite and I've used a fire retardant seal round the edge of it to keep the smoke from seeping out. I'm really happy with the results. I know it looks rough, but the wooden surround will cover that..

I just need to reorder the room now!

Real Fire

2011-12-10T19:39:00.001Z

When I moved into this house in 2007, I inserted two cast iron fireplaces back into the front and back bedrooms. The chimneys downstairs had been bricked up, however upstairs they had been covered over with plasterboard.

Front bedroom in 07, after I'd taken out shelves and stripped he walls, you can see the plasterboard over the mouth of the fireplace.

I got given a cast iron fireplace from my mum which I placed in the front bedroom, and I bought a second hand one off ebay for the back bedroom.

The increasing cost of gas and electric has really focused my mind on getting these two fireplaces back into working order. I originally installed them as decorative features, but with these biting winters I'm convinced they should pay their way - and save me some cash.

Last week I called out a chimney sweep to take a look at the chimneys and give me a quote to clean. While he was here I quizzed him about using the fires and if, with the current building regulation, I would be allowed to light them.

Front bedroom fireplace as it is now.

The good news was the front room fireplace was able to be used, after some tweaking. The sweep gave me some instructions. I would need to backfill the space between the fireplace and the chimney back wall, with a mixture of cement and vermiculite. I thought that would be pretty easy to do. After that, he said, I'd need to seal the gaps of the metal surround with some fire retardant sealant - otherwise smoke would fill the room.

The bad news was the spare-room (where my pc is) that fireplace was incomplete and would need to be replaced! he said that both chimneys were clean and had a good draft coming down so no problems there.

Spare-room when I moved in - 07 - fireplace from ebay.

I was really gutted about not being able to get both fires working. Next day my dad bought me a bag of vermiculite - which, if you've never seen it, is like bits of polystyrene. Vermiculite is an insulation material and keeps the heat from being lost into the chimney wall - also protects the chimney. The bag seemed massive, but I set to work creating this mixture. Maybe it's because I've not done any hard graft in a lot time, or maybe it was because I'd been at school all day, but I really felt exhausted by this task. It took ten bucket loads to backfill the space and my legs were aching after going up and down the stairs 10 times with a heavy bucket. I considered stopping, but then realised that if the concrete set then I started again the next day it would be weak and create a crack. Needless to say there is this vermiculite stuff all up the stairs now, so that was another job to do.. hoovering that up.

Pressing the mixture down behind the fireplace was really difficult too. I'm sure builders must have special ways of doing it, but I just used my hand and put as much pressure as I could muster. When I woke up this morning I noticed I had a bruise on my arm from where it had been hitting the cast iron fire back.

You can see the vermiculite and cement mix here, highlighted.

It was a really messy job, I started mixing it with a trowel, but the consistency was like a moist flapjack and the only way I could mix it was to use my hands. After a few buckets I realised the cement was reacting with my skin and the vermiculite was cutting into my fingers, so I switched to a rubber glove which was a little better. The fireplace (above) looks like it's covered in cement but that will all brush off with some wire wool that I've got.

Next stop is the heat resistant sealer, then I have to wait for the cement to dry before I can fire it up. I'm hoping even having one fire will really help heat up the house.

String Theory Exhibition

2011-12-10T18:58:00.001Z

Feels like years ago that I booked the exhibition space at the central library in the city centre. Today was the day that I could finally hang my paintings and see them in a bigger setting than my front bedroom-come-storage-depot.

List of paintings

Exposed String Triptych II. Acrylic and emulsion with plaster on canvas, 50cm x 76 cm, 2011
Exposed String Triptych III. Acrylic and emulsion with plaster on canvas, 50cm x 76 cm, 2011
With My Body. Acrylic and emulsion with plaster on calico. 1m x 1m. 2011
Til Death. Acrylic and emulsion with plaster on canvas. 50cm x 76cm. 2011
I Thee Endow. Acrylic and emulsion with plaster on calico. 1m x 1m. 2011
Holy Ordinance. Acrylic, emulsion and card on calico. 32cm x 43cm. 2011
Faith. Acrylic, emulsion and card on calico. 32cm x 43cm. 2011
God. Acrylic, emulsion and card on calico. 32cm x 43cm. 2011
Companion. Acrylic, emulsion and card on calico. 32cm x 43cm. 2011
String Theory. Oil and acrylic with plaster on canvas. 1m x 1.4m. 2001-2010
String Theory II. Acrylic and string with plaster on canvas. 1m x 1.4m. 2010-2011
Rigging. String, acrylic & cardboard with papier-mâché on canvas, 53cm x 74cm, 2011
Headship. String, acrylic & cardboard with papier-mâché on canvas, 53cm x 74cm, 2011
Immeasurable Love. Acrylic & plaster on canvas, 55cm x 76cm, 2011.
My_People. Acrylic, cardboard and papier-mâché on canvas, 69cm x 26cm, 2011
I Pledge. String, plaster and acrylic on canvas, 53cm x 90cm, 2011
Circle. Acrylic and string on canvas, 53cm x 90cm, 2011
Relationship. Acrylic, string and card on canvas, 30cm x 40cm, 2011
Lodge. Acrylic, string, card and papier-mâché on canvas. 38cm x 72cm. 2011,
Shifting Shadows Acrylic, string, card and papier-mâché on canvas. 38cm x 72cm. 2011.

I'd also made some small mounted miniature copies of my sketchbook pages to put into the display cases, along with a blurb about the project itself.

Paintings waiting to be loaded into car. (I still love that Jeff Lynne picture)

I enlisted the help of my dad, as he has a bigger car than me, to help transport and set up the paintings. We arrived at the exhibition room at 9am. I laid out the paintings roughly in an order from first to last, then tweaked them to add some symmetry to each wall. After adding name tag/price information to each image, my father and I hung each picture, steadily marrying up the hook and eyes of the hanging system. The building is listed so none of the walls are allowed to be screwed into or have anything stuck onto them, including tape/blue tac etc. The labels then had to be stapled to the bottom of each painting.

Photo-montage of exhibition space.

After we'd finished I took some photographs. Looking at the paintings in that room was such a thrill. I know it's not a really flash gallery, and I know it's not in London, there won't be any influential art critics going along to a library in Hull to see my exhibition. However, I am really excited and chuffed with the results.

Photo-montage of exhibition space.

I never set out to sell any of the paintings, I did them because I wanted to paint, but seeing them in that space just made me feel like maybe I could make a living from art. I'd be happy to have them seen, if someone buys one I'll b over the moon.

Cornered

For more info check out : String Theory

Strikes

2011-12-04T16:48:00.001Z

On Wednesday last week I went into the city to primarily photograph the public workers on striker. Standing on the sidelines I caught sight of a friend, striking, who works as a teacher, he called me over and before I knew it I was in the middle of the procession.

Knowledge is Life

It was all very thrilling afterwards I was pumped up with equal measure of anger and sympathy for those public workers having their pensions cut.

Later in the day I visited my dad. We sat together watching the local news as I wondered if they might have captured my face within the multitude. My father was defiantly saying the strikes were completely pointless and would achieve nothing. Even though I knew inside he was correct, I argued against his words, saddened that my father appeared to have just given up. This futility wasn't personal though, he had every sympathy for the workers, he just didn't accept that the status quo would ever change.

It's taken me several days to process the conversation we had. Did I agree that nothing changes? I suppose in the end yes. but then the next question was was inevitable.. Does that mean we give up trying to change? Do we put trust into those politicians when they've let us down so many times before?

There has been so much talk this week about democracy. "It's our democratic right to strike" say the strikers.. correct of course but on the other side "how selfish of those strikers to withdraw their vital rolls from society in this time of need!" Every MP saying that now was not the right time to strike, slamming union members for taking this action..

On Thursday I watched Question Time and one audience member asked "When is it ever the right time to strike?" There is never a correct time I guess, isn't that the point?

My dad said that the strikers may have the public support now, but if the strikes went on and rubbish was piling up from bins left uncollected - that support would quickly ebb away. Is that all it takes I wondered? a few bins of uncollected rubbish for our democracy to fall? As much as I didn't want to accept that as true, I could believe it not to be the case.

On the BBC's More or Less radio show this week they examined claims made by the government and by the unions regarding pension pay outs..

The government claimed that their new proposals would see an increase to £21k a year in pension of a teacher. The unions claimed that there would be a drop to £4k and most pensions were not gold-plated! Such a massive difference prompted the statistics program to look into it. The research found that the government figures where based on a teacher who started work at 25 and worked until he was 68, never changed jobs, never took any time off and constantly paid into his pension the new amount which includes the 3% increase. By contrast the unions took an average part time teacher who had taken several different jobs over her career and worked until the same time. It's clear that teachers don't all start at the age of 25 and work continually until their 68. Mostly that's impractical to do. Any parent who's had a teenager will know that managing 30 of them you need to be able to be strong, fit and agile.. not many 68 years olds are that.. The unions figure were also incorrect as not all teachers are part time.

Both figures were incorrect and it's actually impossible to know what an average person will take from their pension because it depends on their circumstances. One thing is clear though, if the deductions become so high many of the lower paid policy holders will withdraw their policy. Then there will be fewer lower paid policy holders than higher paid workers. This will not fair well for the remaining policy holders who will have to pay even more to make it sustainable.

I didn't pay into a pension.

Community Centre

2011-11-21T14:35:00.001Z

Over the summer I had anticipated that supply teaching was coming to a rapid end. The last academic year saw me only breaking even, financially. As more and more supply work is done "in house". Schools are now hiring non-qualified teachers to cover staff who were absent as a result my work has dried up. With this downturn I started to seriously look for another job throughout the summer. At the end of the July I found myself unemployed and signing on.

I found it very disheartening and hard to motivate myself after the initial rejection letters started coming into my inbox and letterbox. I was advised by the local job centre of a community action program to help the unemployed back to work. This scheme was run by the community centre but didn't have anything to do with the job centre.

I went along and met up with the staff. A lot of services from CV writing, advice and help with form filling, stamps, envelopes were available, none of which I really needed however, what I did need was an extra pair of eyes and a regular meeting with someone to review my job search. You might think the job centre do this, you'd be wrong, the job centre simply signed me on every fortnight and washed their hands of me. I would ask at the job centre if they'd found any jobs for me? to which they'd answer no.

This is a hard topic to write about because I don't want it to sound like I'm looking for someone to do all the legwork in finding me a job. I am quite capable of finding work, I'm well qualified and experienced. In this climate, however, any extra help I could get is greatly valued. I felt that the job centre didn't even try to help me look for work. Sure the Job Centres have job points on computer, but what they don't have is the human touch. The don't have a personal, professional person who will help. The computers only show a selection of the jobs at any one time. The Job Centres schemes also don't kick in until you've been unemployed 6 months. This, to me, is deeply unfair. I'm a lucky one, in many respects cos my idle hands will find a paintbrush and canvas, but others might turn to despair.

I attended the community centre and the project worker took all my details, scanning over my CV she quickly realised a lot of the facilities the centre offered I wouldn't need. I told her of the jobs I'd be interested in doing and arranged another appointment for the following week.

A week later I returned and she'd scanned all the papers and internet websites looking for work that was suitable for me. This included vacancies in the area I was looking for and also some that maybe outside of my comfort zone. This was great, even though a lot of the jobs she'd spotted I'd already spotted myself, there were one or two I hadn't seen. Her doing this job search helped validate my search - knowing someone else was along side me. Sometimes I felt like I was saying to people "there are no jobs out there... " and they didn't believe me. Were as here was someone independent who knew I was actively seeking employment.

Every week I'd log the number of hours I'd spend completing application forms and also our meeting duration. Her remit is to re-engage people in a job search, to help people back into work. She isn't paid on necessarily getting me a job, she is paid on providing the conditions that encourage and build up my confidence. The only condition was either that I completed 50 hours of job search or I got a full time job - this enabled her to get her funding.

Since this wasn't a Job Centre led scheme I could say to the community worker the areas that I didn't want to work in, without fear that it might effect my benefit. We met up once a week and compared our job searches, I explained what I'd done to find a job this week, and she logged it on her forms, she then presented the jobs she'd found - It was nice just to have someone to cast an extra pair of eyes, maybe finding that job that I might miss.

To Be Continued.....

A couple of weeks ago I got an email off the community worker asking me if I'd be interested in being on the community centre board of trustees and a committee member. "What does it involve?" I said with an idea that I'd be spending all my free time report writing and being a part of Cameron's Big Society (Sham). As it turned out my only obligation would be to attend monthly meetings. I would have a voice in the community centre, I could put forth some ideas and suggestions if needed, but more importantly it would be an opportunity for me to find out a bit more about the community centre, how it's run and funded. I agreed and attended the first meeting last Saturday morning.

It was really interesting meeting as the employees of the community centre gave a presentation to the board (12 members) and also to various members of the community and the public, detailing what the community centre have done over the last 12 months, also their running costs and income for the same period. The 12 board members then had to agree on a time to meet next month and we got to ask questions of the workers. For this meeting, I just sat and listened, met a few new people but didn't really have anything to add. I must admit though I didn't realise just how much the community centre is used by the local people. From Karate clubs to mother and toddler groups, art clubs and back to work groups, ICT classes and there is a cafe and a thrift shop too. I am really impressed with their facilities and the efforts people put in, freely to support the community.

What time is it Mr. Wolf?

2011-11-01T19:20:00.000Z

A few days ago a child asked me what was the time and almost instinctively I started to roll my sleeve up, when I realised I hadn't worn a watch in years. I started to wonder has the watch been left on the glass jewellery shelf in place of the mobile phone? Has the watch now become a pure fashion item instead of an essential useful object? Below are my watches through the decades.

My 70's Watch

My 80's Star Wars Watch

I remember the first watch I had, was a typical 70's leather wrist strap that was an inch wide with a smaller metal watch mounted on it. A bit like the one pictured only lighter leather. I was always a little embarrassed wearing this watch as other kids at school had digital watches and I had this really old thing that looked prehistoric to my modern eyes.

Then in the 80's I got a Star Wars watch which I loved to death... and incredibly I've found a picture of it online. This was a great watch because it played the Star Wars theme tune - the problem was - I had really bad excema and my arms were constantly shedding skin, which got into the watch.. and eventually I couldn't see the display! My mum had to send it back. I got a few digital watched after that but nothing that kept in my memory as much.

90's analogue

00's Metal Strapped

In the 90's I got a watch similar to the one pictured here, leather strap, silver/gold analogue dial with date inset. however the strap kept snapping, I pulled it really tight around my wrists. I had several new straps fitted but each snapped after a few months.

In the noughties I got a metal strapped watch for my birthday from my dad. Similar to the one pictured, but without the digital display, I wore it until the clasp snapped, in around 2005 - I got the clasp fixed then it snapped again. Around the same time I got a mobile phone with a clock on it, so ditched the watch for the mobile. I haven't worn once since.

I miss my watch.. does anyone else?

Exhibition Poster

2011-11-01T14:24:00.001Z

30 A3.. should be enough, 1 in every local library, one in every school I visit, one for the local radio, community centre, one for local TV station and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.

Now Then

2011-10-29T17:38:00.001+01:00

Now then, now then. Jimmy Savile died today, 84 and what a sad loss. Part of my childhood, from Top of the Pops to Jim'll Fix It. He was a mainstay of entertainment and a true Yorkshireman.

Poppy Day

2011-10-28T22:04:00.000+01:00

Pet hate every year.. people wearing poppy's about a month before they are supposed to. Why? They are supposed to be worn on the 11th. November, not two weeks before Halloween! Wearing them that earlier erodes the meaning of them.

Remembrance Day (also known as Poppy Day, Armistice Day or Veterans Day) is a memorial day observed in Commonwealth countries to remember the members of their armed forces who have died on duty since World War I. Armistice Day didn't happen in October.

Population Explosion

2011-10-27T15:03:00.001+01:00

When I was born, I was the:
3,886,725,768th
person alive on Earth and the
78,141,647,258th
person to have lived since history began

Both numbers have been calculated using UN Population Division figures. The first is an estimate of how many people were alive on your date of birth. It is one possible value based on global population figures and estimates of growth rates over time. Data before 1950 is less accurate than figures after that date. The second number includes calculations based on the methodology of scholar Carl Haub, who estimated how many people had been alive since 50,000 B.C. His calculation has been amended by the UN to include additional points in time.

Find out your birth place here

Them and Us

2011-10-26T19:01:00.004+01:00

I was cleaning out my drawers today when I came across a selection of used ID lanyards. You know the ones, they snap in place around your neck with your name and job title printed on.

When I visit a school I get a new ID tag to wear. Most of the time I return it at the end of the day, but sometimes I forget and I leave the school with it around my neck. Now I have a jewellery box of work memories which got me thinking, isn't it interesting how every government building or private office now gives out ID tags, like they're the ultimate deterrent against terrorism.

In the 90's no one was really bothered about ID you just went to work and came home. Over the last decade I've seen these tags creep slowly in.

I was in a school the other day and noticed several posters dotted about. This poster featured a silhouette of a man holding a child's hand, underneath were the words "Check His ID". Now leaving aside the blatant sexism that only men are child abductors, I have to ask why is it that children should be put in a position where they're checking the ID of the staff! Surely children should be in a safe environment to start with. Of course there are situations where people have gained entry to the school, but more often than not, the abuser already works at the school and so already has an ID tag.

I'm not against the ID tag it does make learning names easier and also I get to feel like a contestant on Jim'll Fix It everyday. Seeing everyone in the city centre walking around at lunchtime all tagged up is very sad thou. This obsession isn't limited to schools and other professions, a Pink Floyd video on YouTube caught my eye when I noticed Dave Gilmour was wearing an ID lanyard. Who did they think he was!?

Inflation

2011-10-21T12:42:00.003+01:00

The country is in a fine old mess, I'm sat here thinking am I the only one who knows the answer to this debt crisis? Could it be so simple? Well here is my stab at it

1. Cross-cancellation of world debts - this would wipe out around 62% of all debt. In effect saying.. if we owe china £10 and they owe us £10 we both write it off.

2. Reduce fuel tax. When there is 60p+ per litre taxed on fuel is there any wonder that food costs, and consumer costs have gone up? Reduce this to 20p a litre and small business will be able to function once again. Incredible how a 100 year old haulage firm in London, last year had to sell up, purely because the fuel costs made it impossible to run. Surely the knock on effect of rising fuel costs, is an increase in the price of goods sold in shops. Lowering the cost of fuel would mean more people would buy it, more businesses would be profitable, more tax would be paid.

3. Toll Roads/Bridges. This one is more for the people of Humberside. The Humber Bridge cost £10+million to build in 1981 and was supposed to be paid for by a toll. 30 years on the Humber Bridge Board owes more than £333+million all this with an average crossing fee of £3 for the 120,000 vehicles that use it.. every week!

4. Nationalise one of the energy companies or create a national energy company, which can offer cheaper energy which comes from renewable sources.

5. Fix a ratio between the highest earned amount and the lowest in the country. 20:1 or something.. should footballers, for example, be earning more than the Prime Minister?

6. Give Richard Branson the National Lottery licence and cap the maximum you can win to £1million. Make more people millionaires.

7. Don't invest in a high speed rail link!

8. Don't trade arms with other countries. In fact don't make or sell arms at all.

9. Reduce the number of servicemen in the armed forces.

10. Make all civil servants accountable for their expenses.

11. Invest heavily in the Arts, design, fashion, graphics.

12. Investigate all Tax evasion and avoidance, more than the 2% which is currently allowed to be investigated my HMRC!

13. Keep the 50p tax rate for higher tax earners

14. State Pension, bus passes, fuel allowance, TV licence, child benefit should all be means tested. A millionaire who retires should not be able to claim a state pension, because they have enough money already, State pensions should be available only to those who are not wealthy. Same for child benefit, a couple who earn over 50k a year don't need a few hundred pounds child care a year. They are able to manage without. Winter fuel allowance being sent to a millionaire is insulting.

I can't think of any more right now..

River Cottage

2011-10-17T18:39:00.001+01:00

I like watching cookery programmes, however being a Vegan I often sit thinking when are they going to do something for me? or why don't they do even a vegetarian alternative? Last night when the ratings war was raging between X-Factor and Strictly Come Dancing I had one eye on Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's New Series of River Cottage.

I like Hugh, he comes across as a pleasant and down to earth guy. He hasn't got the pretence of Heston Blumenthal, or the upper class of Gary Rhodes, and thank goodness he hasn't got Gordon Ramsey's dirty mouth. Hugh is just a nice guy who enjoys cooking and it really comes across. I enjoyed his previous series of River Cottage, where he tried to live off the land by growing crops, raising animals and bartering with local villagers for everyday items. Often selling food in exchange for gas to heat the cottage.

This season (which started this weekend) sees Hugh come to the conclusion that all those on a vegetarian or vegan diet have already come to. That we can't go on eating meat, that there simply isn't the land, or the resources left.. So what is the alternative? In Hugh's words "We eat more veg!" and he's so right. Although he hasn't turned completely vegetarian he made a deal with himself that for the summer he would not eat flesh. To me that is a great starting point, and as he pointed out, so easy in the summer because all the summer fruits and vegetables are in bloom.

Hugh's standpoint is that of a challenge in creating a great new vegetarian dish. How do you create a meal without meat as the focus of the dish?

It's like a front room without the focus being on the fireplace, however over the last 100 years the focus of our front rooms has shifted to the radio and finally to the TV. As TV screens become larger (maybe even projections) I wonder in where in 20 years will the focus of our living room's be?

Equally with food, when all food is based around animal products how do you show that there is another focus? This has previously been done by aping meat based products; vegetarian burgers, nut roasts etc. I'm surprised more chefs don't want to challenge themselves in this way. I thought chefs where creative people. As is shown in the programme, even in Hugh's own Restaurant there is only 1 vegetarian option compared to several meat alternatives. In my experience, unless I'm going to a dedicated vegetarian restaurant or cafe, there is only ever one option. Even worse, the option given feels like a token gesture, an afterthought, a polite attempt to include the awkward person.

Hugh challenged his chefs and himself to create more than just the obvious vegetarian meals and they did so, showing it can be done. What a great program. At the end of the show I was left wondering why no one has made a vegetarian cookery programme yet? There must be such a big untapped audience and market for it.Read more here..

Shifting Shadows

2011-10-14T18:29:00.002+01:00

Shifting Shadows. Acrylic and string on canvas, 32cm x 72cm, 2011

Last one in my string theory series... for now.

Re-boot

2011-10-14T09:26:00.000+01:00

Seems almost everywhere I turn these days there is a re-boot. I have decided to reboot this blog too. A few years ago Star Trek was "re-booted", "Star Wars" before that was rebooted, Starburst (ex-opal fruits) - rebooted, Take That - rebooted (minus Robbie and then with Robbie) Queen rebooted without Freddy, and Even The Beatles were rebooted with the Ghost of John. Of course it used to be called "remake" "reform" "rebrand" until the PC terminology got into our everyday language.

This got me thinking about how much of our current language has been rebooted by technology. I made a short list or rebooted words. Feel free to add to it.

Defrag
An ex girlfriend of mine regularly said she had to defrag her hair in a morning.

Crashed
Not just something that happens in a car.

Address
Traditionally a physical place, abode, but seems to now mean web address more than home.

Home
Not the place where you live, but your home page.

Text
Words on a page? No a text based mobile phone message. Text, texted, txt.

Burn
Copying a CD or DVD. Not setting fire to something..

Rip
Extracting content from a CD/DVD and saving to hard drive, not tearing something..

Hard Drive
A mass storage device. Not a long exhaustive journey.

Virus
A small computer program designed to corrupt other computer programs.. not a disease.

Monitor
No longer observing, but observed. A display/screen.

Screen
A partition wall made for fabric/wood usually decorated with a pattern. Although now it refers to a computer display.

Display
Object or objects presented in a certain way to signify a meaning. Currently means computer monitor/display/screen.

Tower
Not just a large construction, but a base unit for a computer.

Chips
cut wedges of potato deep fried. OR A small piece of semiconducting material (usually silicon) on which an integrated circuit is embedded.

Hub
A central base of operations OR a common connection point for devices in a network

Dump
The act of copying raw data from one place to another with little or no formatting for readability. OR slang
for defecating...

Do I really need to go there with Floppy?

Welcome back to the re-booted Sponsored Linx

String Theory - Lodge

2011-09-17T21:05:00.000+01:00

Ships Rigging, Oslo 2011, Bux

Close up detail. Ships Riggings, Oslo, 2011, Bux

Untitled, String, card and papier-mâché on canvas, 38cm x 72cm

Untitled, Acrylic, string, card and papier-mâché on canvas, 38cm x 72cm

Lodge, Acrylic, string, card and papier-mâché on canvas, 38cm x 72cm

"Whither thou lodgest I will lodge"

High demands in a low paid job

2011-09-15T16:45:00.000+01:00

Filling in Job applications, I come across these questions today..

1. Please give an example of where you acted in a principled, open and conscientiousness manner. What was the situation? What did you do? What was the outcome?

2. Please give an example showing how you have supported colleagues or others and have built relationships to achieve a common goal.

3.Please give an example of how you have used effective communication skills. What was the situation? What did you do? What was the outcome?

4.Please give an example where you had to create plans or organise activities to achieve objectives or improve performance. What was the situation? What did you do? What was the outcome?

To help you with these questions, it is expected your answers should be no more than 4000 characters, and the page will time out after 20 minutes - losing all you have entered.

What kind of salary do you think, a job that has an on-line application form which includes these questions is offering?

If I said.. £13k per annum would that surprise you? because it surprised me - the job is for an Admin Assistant.

Rainbow Climbing High

2011-09-13T20:58:00.001+01:00

Everyone can see it climbing over sky.

Nothing better than a rainbow :) caught this one hanging around outside today.. Look carefully seems like there is an outer ring also.

True or false: A rainbow is a semi-circle.

ʎllnɟ ʇı ǝǝs oʇ ʇı ǝʌoqɐ ǝq oʇ pǝǝu noʎ ʇnq `ǝlɔɹıɔ ɐ s,ʇı ǝslɐɟ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

Film Noir

2011-09-11T00:09:00.001+01:00

Kid in the Front Row put up up a post on Thursday at the start of which he said: 'If you have a blog, answer these there (doesn't matter whether you blog about movies, your stamp collection, or dragon sightings.... answer the questions!)' If you would like to do your own answers on your blog or if you haven't got a blog in the comments section below please do go ahead. So here are my answers:

1. What film has been sitting on your shelf for six months waiting to be watched?
I don't have films sitting around waiting to be watched, I buy/download them and watch them straight away.

2. What is the one film you know word for word?
There isn't one there are many. Life of Brian, Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Alien, Weird Science, Star Trek films.

3. What screen character breaks your heart?
I know people will think I'm being really silly by saying this, BUT. in Star Trek II; The Wrath of Khan. William Shatner gives an incredible performance when Spock dies. Even thinking about those scenes now gives me a lump in my throat.

4. If you could bring an actor back from the dead, and had to pair them on screen with a current actor (who is no older than 40), what would your combo be?
Groucho Marx and Robin Williams (Circa Good Morning Vietnam).

5. How often do you check your phone in the cinema?
I don't go to cinema. Too expensive and the films don't justify it. They are aimed at 18-24 year olds. There are rarely any foreign films or 18 films these days.

6. What film do you love which no-one else quite seems to 'get'?
Xanadu!! OK so I saw it when I was 7 and ever since I've loved it. Part of it is because I'm a massive ELO fan and Jeff Lynne wrote songs for it. it's also a bit of a time travel/mythology type film, there is a brilliant Art Deco building in it, the Pan Pacific Auditorium (which has since burned down 1989) It's just a shame it's about roller disco!

7. What is your favourite Al Pacino film?
Godfather trilogy. I don't rate Pacino as a particularly good actor, I'd rather see Robert De Niro in Goodfellas, Jackie Brown, Casino, Untouchables

8. Why do they always manage to make us go one size bigger with the popcorn?
I don't buy it

9. Share one memory from a cinema visit long ago.
The first film I saw at cinema was Disney's The Jungle Book. I was about 9 and I remember it being near Christmas time because Mickeys Christmas Carol came on before the film started. The cinema itself was a 60's build with low slung ceilings in the main entrance area. I wasn't sure what to expect, I can remember the smell of the cinema and when the red curtains opened and the lights went down I remember not knowing how my eyes would take in all the picture at once because the screen seemed so utterly massive. This was the first and last time my family went to the cinema.

10. Have you ever used a line from a movie, in your life, without anyone knowing you stole it? Give details.
I'm forever using lines from films/songs in my job, students haven't seen the films I have so don't appreciate it.. I like testing myself when I'm reading the register, names of students that remind me of films or songs often work their way into my greeting of that particular student.. lines like "I'm Brian and so is my wife!" if there is a Brian in the room.. or "Lydia oh Lydia, oh have you seen Lydia? Lydia the tattooed Lady!" if there is a Lydia in the room.. it's worth it for the looks of blank expression on their faces.

Relationship

2011-09-08T17:27:00.005+01:00

Oslo 2011, Ships Rigging closeup and rotated 90°

Development. Card and string on canvas, 30cm x 40cm, 2011

Development. Acrylic, card and string on canvas, 30cm x 40cm, 2011

Relationship. Acrylic, card and string on canvas, 30cm x 40cm, 2011

Deborah Meadon

2011-09-05T22:14:00.000+01:00

I know I shouldn't have a knee jerk reaction to something I read in the Daily Mail. I know it's written to get my back up and it certainly does. Last year I read about Theo Paphitis and his penny pinching thoughts on peoples use of social networking sites at work because of the millions of hours supposedly being lost in productivity! The worn and over used phrase "AS IF!!!" sprung to mind then and it does now as I read how Deborah Meadon, one of the other Dragons on the BBC's Dragons Den TV show, struggled to find workers for her textiles mill. Article can be read here

She states she couldn't find anyone aged 16-17 to work in her mill. Citing young people as not finding it 'cool' to do manual labour work, she was then forced to extend her search to include 19-24 year olds to fill the vacant positions. Nothing at all to do with 16-17 year olds only being paid £3.68 an hour and 19-24 being paid between £4.98 and £6.08 an hour then? Surely Deborah wasn't trying to get cheap labour was she?

"The NMW rates are reviewed each year by the Low Pay Commission and from 1 October 2011:

the main rate for workers aged 21 and over will increase to £6.08

the 18-20 rate will increase to £4.98

the 16-17 rate for workers above school leaving age but under 18 will increase to £3.68" -(directgov,2011)

No wonder Deborah was upset.

The mill is situated in Somerset where there are very high levels of unemployment, (so the article states) what it doesn't state however is how many unemployed 16-17 year olds there are. I would have thought the vast majority of these teens will be on full-time college courses! Not looking for work.

I've got to love the way the Daily Mail makes the public believe that Millionaires are only trying to help and that the youth are lazy good-for-nothings. When closer to the truth to say the millionaires are taking advantage of 16/17 year olds and paying hardly any tax.

String Theory: Circle

2011-09-05T10:29:00.001+01:00

Development. Cord, string and acrylic on canvas, 53cm x 90cm, 2011

Circle. Cord, string and acrylic on canvas, 53cm x 90cm, 2011

New painting finished. This is painting #17 of 20. Three more to do!!

Old School Teachers

2011-09-04T19:09:00.004+01:00

I'm not in this photo but the man with the beard was my primary school teacher between 1980-83. He was called Mr. Smith. I found this old photograph of him on-line and was shocked by the difference between my memory of him and how he actually looked. I thought he was so much bigger than here. I remember he called his classroom the Lions Den! and he was a really scary teacher. He had a softer side too and every Friday would read us stories. I often think about him and wonder how he is, what he's doing now.

58 into 1

2011-09-02T17:58:00.002+01:00

I didn't get the job.

58 people applied, I was one of a short-listed eight (and two of those didn't arrive).

It's good experience - my dad said.

When Present Means Teach

2011-08-28T10:15:00.001+01:00

Ambiguous language can easily mislead. I recently applied for a teaching job at the local college and was amazed when my usual rejection letter didn't appear but an invitation to interview did! This isn't to be a normal interview, however, in fact the actual interview isn't guaranteed at all. I first have to prove I am worthy of interview by giving a presentation. If I pass the presentation stage then I'll be granted an interview. Although, I can understand the reasoning behind this, I can't help but think someone who is very swish at presenting will get an interview where as someone who is very nervous will get left behind! I'm the later of the two.

The presentation, the second page of the letter outlines, is to introduce the topic of referencing to a class of AS-Level students.

Academic Essay Referencing
You are required to make a 10 minute presentation to the panel, explain how you would introduce the topic of referencing to a class of AS students in a creative and interesting way. This activity would form the first part of a session lasting an hour.

The key words here are PRESENTATION and INTRODUCE. So am I required to teach or present? What do the interview panel require? I wrote to the college to ask.

I have an interview and wanted some further information about the presentation I am to give.

In the invitation to interview you have stated “You are required to make a 10 minute presentation to the panel, explain how you would introduce the topic of referencing to a class of AS students in a creative and interesting way. This activity would form the first part of a session lasting an hour”. I am a little confused.

Am I to give a presentation about the lesson I would give, or an I actually going to be teaching the first 10 minutes of a lesson?

Moreover, are you expecting me to go into details about my starter; how it fits into different teaching and learning styles, how many minutes it lasts, then explaining the main tasks within the lessons, how I account for differentiation within student learning etc.
OR are you expecting me to teach the first ten minutes of the lesson to the panel?
Kind Regards

A reply came back.

Hello
With regard to your recent enquiry, the presentation should be based on the first 10 minutes you would deliver to a class of students. You have been asked to provide a lesson plan for one hour and supporting resources including Power-point presentation etc that you would use with this group during the one hour session.
I hope this answers your queries and good luck with the interview.
Kind Regards

Not once was the word 'teach' used in their reply.. and now they've included the phrase 'based on' so the lesson I present doesn't have to be the lesson I've planned, just based on it? Like a film of a book which takes the story and adds new characters, new setting, but keeps the scene in the cafe where the couple break up!?

Am I being pedantic here? Or is it obvious to everyone but me what they are asking me to do? I wrote back again.. This time hoping for a clear response..

With regard to your reply, just to clarify..
You are expecting me to assume the panel are AS students and teach the first ten minutes of the lesson? I understand that I'll be providing lesson plans and resources for the lesson.
Am I correct?

And finally.. after 3 emails, 2 phone calls, over 3 days.. I got some sense out of the college with this reply..

Yes please Barry - you are correct.
Many thanks

I've probably shot myself in the foot now, at the interview they'll remember me as the guy that didn't understand that deliver and present meant teach!

I Pledge

2011-08-15T14:11:00.002+01:00

I Pledge. String, plaster and acrylic on canvas, 53cm x 90 cm, 2011

This is my latest painting.

Riot Act

2011-08-10T15:54:00.005+01:00

I don't agree with wanton destruction of other people’s livelihood or property. London riots my view.

I find it interesting that western cultures idealise and worship greed and money. Those brokers and gamblers bankrolling millions of pounds every day before the credit crunch were seen as being at the top of their game. They weren't seen as reckless gamblers. Equally the banks that sold 100%+ mortgages to people who couldn't afford them because they were so sure of continued house price rises. Footballers and glamour models who are earn hundreds of thousands of pounds daily while nurses and teaching assistants are paid a pittance. Then there is the chairman who pays himself massive bonuses whilst his staff are made redundant and the MP's who take expenses and expect the highest standard where ever they go.

Is it really any wonder with these role models that people are looting television sets from Curry's or Dixon's.

Is a television or a mobile phone what rioters really want? Or is it more that these commodities are cultural symbols? Symbols of freedom? To some people they are.

Criminals are said to have every luxury in prison, some even the common working man does not have, for example Sky TV or a Playstation games console. Yet constantly when I ask people what they don't like about prisons they say "prisoners get everything, they can even watch Sky TV" as if Sky is a symbol of freedom. Whatever happened to the threat of loss of liberty? How have we become a society that values a television set or a games console as objects of freedom!?

A whole generation has grown up thinking greed is good, believing that they have as much right to be a millionaire as any celebrity.

We need a new society that isn't based on wealth or greed and No! I don't mean Communism. I don't have any solutions as to what kind of society we need, but I feel the kids on the streets need something more than Jordon's vacuity, Ryan Giggs promiscuity and David Cameron ingenuity of selling arms but talking peace! When the rioters talk of wanting respect, maybe that's exactly what they want.

Smashed windows can be fixed over night, smashed hope will take generations to put right.

--Update, I must be trend-setting because I've just noticed a similar article in the Guardian. It was posted at 8pm on Wednesday. This blog was posted at 3.54pm. You heard it here first folks! ;)

The lights are on and everyones home

2011-08-09T19:36:00.003+01:00

I made a claim for JSA today and visited the job centre. I got two rejection letters yesterday from a local college so my mood was low.

The job centre has a large open plan office space covering three floors, one side open with large floor to ceiling windows. I was sat waiting for my name to be called out, feeling pretty positive considering my location. I noticed the window cleaner, working away and cleaning the insides of the windows. The natural light flooded into the building. Glorious yellows and natural greens coloured the grey desks and carpets. Light danced around the room as single parents with children smiled and laughed to each other.

I looked up to the ceiling and wondered why the lights were on; this was surely a waste of electricity. Since electricity prices have just gone up 18% we shouldn't be using them unnecessarily. Then I realised why the lights were on. I turned to see a couple of staff members callout an objection to a senior staff member as she drew the blinds shut. This is why the lights were switched on - the blinds are usually closed. With the blinds now drawn, the colours muted, the faces drained of joy I felt despondent once again, why bother looking for a job? Maybe I could eke out a living on the dole!

I wondered why? Why shut the blinds? They should be saving resources, we’re in a recession? I wondered how many other government offices have the lights on in the daytime? Claim sorted I returned home, ready to write this blog, but first I would ring the council and ask them.

The council representative told me the job centre is a government building not a local council building and I'd need to speak to someone at the Job Centre directly. He also said he too had wondered why the lights were always on as he'd previously worked in those offices. I told him that I could understand it if the Job Centre didn't want people outside seeing confidential information on the computer screens (although this could be easily resolved by coating the windows in cheap reflective cellophane!) So what is the reason?

I rang the Job Centre and spoke to a very helpful lady who told me that I should put my comment in writing and post it. She offered to take note of my comments as well. The reason I was told for the use of lights is one of natural light causing a glare on computer screens!

Now I know it's an obvious thing to say but natural light in a classroom is far better than artificial light. The students are more energetic, more alive, more interested. Surely these are qualities you want in a job centre? Not dull, drabness and never ending layers of boredom or am I reading too much into this!

Super 8

2011-08-04T16:00:00.004+01:00

Without knowing anything about the film or even seeing any trailers I've just watched and enjoyed Super 8.

The film started and ended with my favourite band ELO providing the opening track. Super 8 is set in 1979 so brought back my childhood and it's a family film, ala Flight of the Navigator (as discussed in a previous blog). The story was a little predictable, but still enjoyable. Reminded me a little of The Goonies/Stand by Me meets Close Encounter of the 3rd Kind, which is no surprise when the producer is Steven Spieberg. The film was written & directed by JJ Abrams (Star Trek, Lost).

The story involves 5 friends making a movie on a handheld camera during the summer, they witness and film a train crash. The crashed train convoy contains vital military equipment and needs to be recovered. Then people from the nearby town go missing as well as electrical equipment. It's up to the kids to save the day, find the missing people and uncover the truth about what is really on the military train.

There are a few obvious story arcs in the film. Characters who don't get along eventually learn to put differences to one side; friendships are strengthened and youthful romance blossoms. Throw in a some great cultural references and some factual inaccuracies (was the Rubik's cube available in 1979?) and you have a great period sci-fi film.

Jonnie Marbles Jailed

2011-08-02T17:07:00.004+01:00

Jonnie Marbles is his stage name, but he wasn't a well known comic until he lunged onto the world stage by pushing a shaving foam pie into the face of Rupert Murdoch a few weeks ago.

Jonathan May-Bowles aka Marbles, attended the commons hearing on the phone hacking scandal and got his opportunity to hurl the object into the News Corp Chairman's face. Murdoch was shaken by the comedy attack but carried on with his testimony before the committee.

May-Bowles has been sentenced to six weeks in prison (Serving three), ordered to pay £15 victim surcharge and £250 costs.

Am I the only person that thinks.. Hang on.. 3 weeks in prison!? Why? A foam pie in the face!!. 3 weeks in prison?.. Surely you are kidding me?.. Why not go the whole hog and chop his hands off?? Why are magistrates jailing people willy-nilly for silly-billy things like this?? Did he have a knife? did he have a gun? was there an intent to kill or harm or injure, worst case scenario Murdoch's face would be prepared for a mid-afternoon shave. Talk about completely pointless sentence, how much does it cost to keep someone in jail for 1 week? nearly £1000, surely saving the state £3000 should be taken into account, along with the likely hood that Marbles is going to get the chance to do this again! (I doubt that would happen). Common sense here surely?

First Charlie Gilmour! what good was served by jailing him? none.. surely it would have been better to have him cleaning the cenotaph every week than jailed for 16 MONTHS and now this!? unbelievable.. sometimes I wonder if we are living in the UK?

Price Rises

2011-07-28T10:44:00.002+01:00

Shell, Centrica and other oil companies report profit
British Gas report profits.

Customer prices have gone up... isn't it about time we had a nationalised oil company?

Separate Beds

2011-07-27T10:09:00.000+01:00

I grew up thinking husband and wife slept in the same bed automatically, then again I also grew up with Eric and Ernie sharing a bed and courtesy of Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, aunts and uncles, grandma's and grandpa's all sharing a bed together. If a couple didn't sleep in the same bed then it was deemed the relationship wasn't working or an argument must have taken place.

"Go sleep in the spare room!" or "I'm sleeping on the sofa" were lines often heard on in drama or sitcoms and as I grew up I heard in my own relationships when arguments would erupt.

I've been single now for give or take 5 years and really love my double bed. I love that it's all mine, that I don't share it, with someone else. When I was in a relationship I was constantly woken by heavy breathing, movements, and an inability to stretch out. If my partner was ill or had a cough I too had a restless night. I need my sleep to function properly the next day, like anyone, if I've not fallen into REM sleep then I feel groggy and in a grumpy mood.

My question is, are couples supposed to sleep together? I wonder if any future woman I date will take to me wanting to sleep alone.

The Professionals

2011-07-26T16:29:00.001+01:00

I saw a job advertised as a 'Data Entry Clerk' and applied. The application process, online, involved my details going through another company called 'Career Jobs UK'. Today they rang me and this is the conversation I had with the American accented call worker. She rang my mobile phone and I have a very soft speaking voice.

Career Jobs UK: Hi, can I speak to Barry please..
Me: You are doing?
Career Jobs UK: Sorry, Can you speak up?
Me: I said "you are doing" this is Barry..
Career Jobs UK: Ah this is ........ at Career Jobs UK, you recently applied for a job as a Data Entry Clerk that has come through us, can we take a few details incase any other vacancies come up that you might be interested in? We need some background information.
Me: Sure, what do you want to know?
Career Jobs UK: Are you currently employed?
Me: No
Career Jobs UK:Sorry?
Me: (louder) NO!
Career Jobs UK: OK and What was your last job?
Me: Teacher
Career Jobs UK: What did you teach?
Me: Children hehe
Career Jobs UK: I know I meant what subject?
Me: Art.
Career Jobs UK: Sorry, I can't hear you?
Me: ARt
Career Jobs UK: Oh ART, ok and how long have you been teaching that?
Me: Well I don't, I'm a supply teacher who specialises in Art
Career Jobs UK: You're a what?
Me: I'm a Supply Teacher
Career Jobs UK: A what?
Me: A suPPly t-e-a-c-h-e-r!!!
Career Jobs UK: A what?
Me: a SUBSTITUTE
Career Jobs UK: Oh, how long did you do that for?
Me: 8 years. Didn't I put all this on my CV?
Career Jobs UK: Yes, but I don't have your CV here right now
Me: Well don't you think that's unprofessional?
Career Jobs UK: No, 'cos it's just background information.
Me: Yes, but you haven't asked me any background information, you've asked me for information that you can read from my CV, had you been more professional you would have it infront of you.
Career Jobs UK: do you want me to stop the call and take you off our books?
Me: No.. I'd like you to get my CV infront of you then ring me back.
Career Jobs UK: well if you can't spare 5 mins to talk about your background then you aren't really desperate for a job!
Me: Hang on, if you can't get a CV infront of you when talking to your clients then ur not very good at your job! You are wasting my time.
Career Jobs UK: Well do you want me to take you off our books and end this conversation?
Me: No I don't, What I want is for you to get my CV infront of you and call me back
Career Jobs UK: I can't cos I've sent it off to someone about another possible job for you!
Me: So, you didn't take a copy? How unprofessional are you!
Career Jobs UK: Look do u want me to end this and take you off our books?
Me: I've already said what I'd like..
Career Jobs UK: Right OK then..
Me: well why don't you get someone else to ring me when you have my details..
Career Jobs UK: No, I don't think so.. You clearly don't want to work!!!!..
Me: No I do, but I shouldn't have to endlessly repeat information that with a keystroke you could have infront of you and not waste either of our time!

Career Jobs UK hung up.

Afterwards I was frustrated and couldn't quite believe it, so I typed in Career Jobs UK into google to find out exactly who they were so I could write a complaint. The very first entry was a comment from someone else who had been scammed by them into nearly giving them money, and these complaints went back years!

Norway

2011-07-25T14:04:00.001+01:00

My heart goes out to the shocking scenes from Norway recently and all those people who lost their lives. Incredible that such a peaceful country can be attacked from within. My admiration and respect to the Norwegian people and the way they've dealt with this crisis. They have shown such honour to their dead, It is so moving to see it. I don't know much about the politics in Norway but the Prime Minister seems so truthful and it's refreshing to see someone in power also visibly upset by what has happened, but able to deal with the media in a professional and committed way. He is a credit to Norway.

Liverpool 2011

2011-07-24T22:50:00.007+01:00

These are my 11 highlights of my recent trip to Liverpool where I met up with Bux.

#1 Meeting Bux, always have a great laugh together trawling round Liverpool with Bux, spotting the wonderful and obscure. Whether it be graffiti or locals, she makes me laugh and is a Liverpool Girl.

Banksy Rat? The display I'm pointing to says "FUNK"

Eddie Lizard and me!

#2 The best cup of tea. Made by Mr Bux.

#3 Girl collapsing at my feet at the train station. She was ok in the end.

#4 Broken train ticket machine that made us miss our train. Later found out we could have got on without a ticket!

#5 Shocked and impressed by large rooms in Fact and Volcanic projections.

#6 Impressed by the food as usual in Egg, veggie restaurant where we both had Bolognaise, rice, pasta and salad. Then both felt bloated afterwards from eating a little to much.

How much food for £5

Inside Egg

Egg head on the stairs

View From The Egg Window

#7 In awe of the incredible talent that was Magritte at his exhibition on show at Tate Liverpool. The £10 entry fee is well worth it to see all him masterworks, including, films, sketchbooks, posters, sculptures, graphics and of course those most famous paintings "this is not a pipe" and "the recklace sleeper!" Who Bux thought was actually me! Sourcing and collecting the images from around the world, must have taken years. A lot of thought had gone into the hanging of the pictures too. Paintings that were similar or had some significance where put together, the layout wasn't simply determined by a chronological order. The humour of Magritte was on show for all to see. As with the Picasso Exhibition last year the Tate gives you both barrels and you are left feeling overwhelmed by information. A return pass to come back the following day would be a good idea for shows such as this. It's impossible to take it all in a single viewing. The Tate should be commended for pulling all the work together and putting on such a spectacle.

Advert

This is not a street advertisement.

#8 View Two Gallery. Watch this space to see if I can get some of my work exhibited there.

#9 Getting mistaken for a Liverbird Egg in the Liverpool Museum. In the foyer was a Punch and Judy style mock up of the Liver Builder, perched on top was a woman dressed as a Liver Bird - she was entertaining the crowd of about 50 people in the foyer. we walked into the area and I heard "eh arr you look like one of my eggs!" everyone looked around.. and I thought oh my god, she's talking about me, next thing.. "Yeah, you, you're head looks like one of my eggs, can I come and sit on it!" Everyone looked at me and started laughing! It always happens to me. I did see the funny side but I'm sure I was red with embarrassment; Bux said it was very ‘eggciting.’

Liverpool Museum.....

The museum itself was architecturally interesting with a massive spiral staircase paying homage to Frank Lloyd Wrights Guggenheim Gallery, although externally the building has more in common with the Oslo Opera House and not FLW's organic building.

Staircase inside Liverpool Museum

Inside the exhibition spaces were interesting yet, to me looked like the idea of showing Liverpool was lost in all the whizz bangs of gadgetry. It felt like a team of recent graduates from a Museum and Exhibition Degree had been asked to design it and they'd done so using every trick in the book. I can see how it would appeal to younger audiences, but I once you've been and seen the exhibits I wonder would you go back again.

The building had only just opened so there were many locals in there and tourists, I hope they utilise the space wisely because it felt to random an experience to me. This was completely different from the well planned and thought-out Magritte exhibition next door.

I think the best attraction within the museum was undoubtedly the view from the giant windows at either side. Both Windows look out over the Mersey, north and south to the Three Graces and the Albert Dock.

#10 Inside the Liver Building. This weekend saw the Centenary of the Building and to celebrate the whole of the dock area was being transformed by lights, performance, music, and art. Giant paper fish sculptures where hung above the water, a performance stage was being set up, and residents were milling about eating ice cream in anticipation. The Liver Building itself had opened its door to the public and was hosting an exhibition of its history. From the elaborate marble staircases, and Edwardian panelled board rooms to the 60's refurbishment, the whole building was documented and presented.

Marble Stairs inside the Liver Building, Liverpool.

View from inside the Liverbuilding looking up through the skylight at the 60's revamp of the building.

#11 The Locals: with the exception of Geordies, I think Liverpudians are the friendliest people in the country. On the train three scallies in their late 50's where sat opposite two girls in their early 20's. The three men where flirting with the girls, but not in a seedy way in a friendly jokey way. After about 5 minutes of chatting one of the men motioned his friend to sing to the girls.. So he starts singing ‘L'amour‘ loudly in the compartment. We were sat there laughing along with the girls and the two other guys, after he'd finished there was even applause, then one of the men said "Go on John, give her a bit of Frank!". We bore witness to a great rendition of "under my skin" the two girls by this point (and the rest of the passengers) were in fits of laughter. As his station pulled into view one of the men said, thank you very much girls, same time next week. The other man said to everyone else "thanks you and goodnight!"

Overhearing scousers chatting at the dockside, I was looking down into the watery dock and watching some tiny jellyfish when I heard a couple chatting:

Man: hey la, u seen all those jellyfish in there?
Woman: (looking in) oh yeah it's amazing how they survive with all that rubbish in there..
Man: (takes a drag of his cigarette, then casually flicks it into the water) aye la, I know!!

Smoking Jellyfish in here!

Another mad local managed to find us in the Liverpool Museum. Whilst playing a music quiz in one of the exhibition spaces we realised we were playing against 4 other people, one was a middle aged woman. She was shouting out all the answers when she got one right, and asking me random questions about the quiz. These people seem to be attracted by me, maybe my head is like a lightbulb for them and they are the moths banging against it. This woman was no exception she shouted to this couple who were also playing, "Hey do I know yous? you were here yesterday?" The couple completely confused shrugged no. She then told everyone that she'd been playing the quiz all morning! To which I said to Bux "and she was here yesterday too, else how would she know if that couple where here then! "

Class of '89

2011-07-19T10:39:00.004+01:00

I was in the class of '89 and I think people of my age were the last great innocence, by that I mean. We grew up with respect and fascination for technology, probably because we didn't have any in the 70's and then in the 80's there was an explosion in home computers, walkmans, gizmos and gadgetry.

To be a child in the late 70's and 80's was a great. The adults who were in the media and in our schools had their minds opened in the 60's which meant that in school assembles we'd sing along to The Beatles Yellow Submarine, then later we'd hear Why Worry by Dire Straits.

Girls dressed in Punk/Goth or mixed it up with anything they could get. Many girls made their own clothes. Boys at that time wore Chinos and sports brands, Adidas, Puma, Le Shark. School was a place to proudly display your new trainers, All my friends used to think they were Don Johnson (Miami Vice) or Bruce Willis (ala Moonlighting).

Music was fresh and clean sounding because of synthesizers and the first programmable drum machines Jan Hammer and Thomas Dolby seemed to be everywhere for a short while. American TV shows like Family Ties, Alf, The A-Team and the Fall Guy flooded onto our UK screens, no one was killed, the humour was subtle and sexual references were pretty much nonexistent.

Films from the 80's had that family appeal too. Back to the future, War Games and Ferris Buelers Day Off, films you wouldn't be embarrassed to watch with your parents. In fact it was never really questioned that you would watch them with your parents. Of course I'm not saying it was completely rosy but I think the divide was a lot more noticeable then between family entertainment and adult.

The rating of Transformers 3 is 12a. So is it wrong to expect something similar to Back to the Future, no swearing, vague references to sex, maybe kiss, snog but no more and no one dying in a grotesque way? There is a scene in Tranformers 3 were the main character is describing his new car, "nice curves, great body work" and the camera focuses on the lead female characters body, her legs, her chest - these are the nice curves! The camera doesn’t show the car at all. This is aimed at a 12 year old?

The reason for this blog however is because today in class, as it was the end of term, we were watching a film. The kids streamed into the room "We watching a film sir???" "Yes" I said.. and they're disappointment that it wasn't Transformers 3 soon turned into a deeper despair when they realised it was a film they'd never heard of from the dim and distant past - the 80's!!

The Flight of the Navigator no less, and since this was a German lesson; we had German subtitles too. At the start of the film the class were rowdy and loud, but they soon settled without any instruction from me. The gentle humour, great story, and basic special effects of the film won them round. Half way through the lesson I glanced round the room to see 25 gorping faces all silently watching in amazement, but these weren't 12 year olds, these were 15 year olds!! gobby, snotty, pubescent, argumentative, 15 year olds - all mesmerised. I don't know why but I felt really nostalgic for the 80's and genuinely sad for these 15 year olds that they didn't experience the films in the time I did. Then I wondered will they look back on Transformers 3 in the same way I look back on Knight Rider, or D.AR.Y.L. I don't want to be a Mary Whitehouse and sit whinging about too much sex and violence on our screens; it's not that, it's more the innocence that's gone from today’s society.

In Dreams

2011-07-17T10:55:00.000+01:00

I had a dream last night which I've had ever since I finished my degree in '97.
It consists of me being in the 3rd year of the course and worrying that I haven't got all the projects in on the deadline.

At the time, I had to have completed;
my dissertation,
a lighting report,
a site analysis,
a business report
and an interior design project (consisting of preliminary designs for an interior of my choosing, working technical drawings, a model, and final presentation displays).

In the dream everything is coming to ahead and I'm panicking under the pressure, not able to carry on. Then suddenly, in the dream, I'm in the present day and I'm looking back to how I've failed the degree, and I'm filled with regret.

I have this dream at least half a dozen times a year.

Us and Them

2011-07-15T14:18:00.000+01:00

I read today that Charlie Gilmour will be jailed for 16 months for swinging from the cenotaph, jumping on a car bonnet and throwing a bin at the royal car, during the student riots!
16 months!

Earlier in the year the MP Ken Clark made a statement that the prisons were overcrowded and to address this issue he would allow a ciminal if he claimed his guilt during their arrest to have his/her sentence reduced by as much as 50%. In doing so the criminal would spend less time in prison.

I think this is wrong, all murder/violent crimes/rapes/ child abusers should serve the full sentence, not let out on good behaviour. However, I also believe that many people in jail should not have been jailed in the first place.

Jail should be reserved for those who cause the loss of innocence and life, so murderers/violent offenders and child abusers. Everyone else should receive a community sentence or a fine. The case of Charlie Gilmour is a prime example. He finished his degree and is now serving a sentence, what good is he going to get from going to prison? Mixing with known rapists/burglars/violent people? How is that helping him? Or even punishing him?

Surely what would have been a better punishment would have been some form of community service, Cleaning the cenotaph every weekend for 2 years, helping out at the Royal Legion, clearly Charlie has the money to pay a fine, but that fine could have been given to soldiers families.

I believe we (as a society) need to look at other ways of punishing people, ways that bring people BACK into the community not cast them out.

I really don't understand why forgers, money launderers, fraudsters are in jail, these people need to be working in our cities and putting their skills to use. Society is paying out millions in locking up these people, when we could be saving millions by utilising their labour and time.

Phone Hacking

2011-07-09T11:28:00.001+01:00

Murdoch should not be allowed to buy BSkyB outright, from what I've read, most people in the UK agree that it's wrong to have one man in control of the majority of the media, both tabloid, broadsheet and TV. Without even touching on the Phone Hacking story, I can't believe that Murdoch should even be allowed to buy controlling shares.

Andy Coulson should be prosecuted
Rebekah Brooks should be investigated, and at the very least sacked.
The police need investigating
The Murdoch's need questioning, they must have been aware of the hackings
David Cameron said he took his eye off the ball! and he's giving himself one more chance!.. well bully for him.. Why don't he let the country decide if he should have another chance!!? if it was anyone else they would have been told to resign.. if he was in opposition he'd be calling for his resignation. disgraceful.

I feel sad for the hundreds of innocent people who lost their jobs, but I have to say, would you really want to work for someone who hacks into phones of soldiers and murdered school girls!?

Ultimately we are all to blame, if you read the papers or go to their websites, then you are guilty of buying into that culture, we've all created it, the hunger for 24/7 news, the gossip and the fame game. We need to change our ways. The sad fact is thou, I fear, nothing will change the News of the World has gone, but their will be another sensationalising newspaper no doubt to take it's place. The scandal of the story is that we all bought into it.

British Gas

2011-07-09T11:15:00.002+01:00

British Gas are putting their prices up 18%.. I'm with British Gas.. and my central heating won't be going on this Winter, as I know I won't be able to afford it. I feel we need to re-nationalise British Gas, so they are working for the national good, and not shareholders who are making massive profits.

British Gas states the rises are because of instability in fuel costs, however it's not just that, BG have to develop alternative fuel sources (solar, wind etc) because of government directives; The cost of which is passed on the customer.

In a nationalised industry those high profits could be used to fund development of alternatives, so the cost wouldn't need to be funded by the customer.

Cankles and Ninkles

2011-07-04T09:18:00.001+01:00

From the makes of 'Cankles', the word that linked both calfs and ankles - for those who's ankle is the same width as their calf - comes the all new and exciting word "Ninkles"

Do you have knees and are they wrinkled!?.. if so.. you have 'ninkles'!! rejoice!

Dealing with Stealing

2011-06-28T16:28:00.008+01:00

A year 7 (11 year olds) top-set maths class were sat before me for an hour this afternoon. For a top set they were very noisy. Half way through the register the teacher from next door rushed in with the work I was supposed to do. He explained they were doing equations and should be able to just "get on".

I looked at the tasks, wrote my name, date and title of the work on the whiteboard. Then gave a quick introduction to the equations work. After a Q&A with the pupils they started the tasks they'd been set. I focused on calming some of the more noisy students along the way issuing several warnings.

A girl at the back of the class asked me if she could borrow a pencil. I always carry a stocked up pencil case so I gave her one from my own supply - leaving my pencil case open on the desk.

A noisy and nosey girl at the front called Amy, shouted out "Sir, you have a bouncy ball in your pencil case! Can I have a go on it!" I said no and instructed her to get on with the tasks she had to do.

The rest of the lesson comprised of me helping individuals with their equations and realising their normal teacher had taught a completely different way of solving equations than the way I was teaching. My way of solving them was long winded, however it showed them the process.

At the end of the lesson the books were collected in, chair were put on desks, and I noticed the ball from my pencil case had gone missing! Stolen.

Once quiet, I asked them to recall Amy's observation at the beginning of the lesson, "Sir, you have a bouncy ball in your pencil case.." and then said that the ball had gone missing. I asked if anyone had seen it? no one had. I pushed and said "well clearly there is a thief in the class", and I really didn't want to report to the Head of Year that a top set year 7 maths class contained a thief. The class was silent, then, to much amusement a girl shouted out "c'mon some one must have sirs, balls!"

I said sternly that it wasn't funny! she apologised and suggested maybe I search every one's bag? I said I shouldn't have to do that, nor should I have to report to the Headmaster that there is some one untrustworthy in the room, but I was prepared to do that.

"right," I said "...what I'm going to do is let you all go in a moment.. while you're all leaving the room, passing my desk, I'm going to walk over to the other side of the room and put some books away. The person with the ball can put it on my desk as they leave and nothing more will be said.. If the ball isn't there I will follow it up!"

They all flooded to the door and I walked over to the other side of the room, facing away from them. As the last boy left I turned around and the ball had magically appeared.

I didn't report it to anyone. The rest of the class now know there is a thief in the group.. and hopefully that will be enough to make him/her think twice.

Christian Name

2011-06-24T08:26:00.001+01:00

Time was that filling in an application form, or a questionnaire, the opening question would be "Christian Name: " It's rare if not unheard of to read that statement today.

Telephone sales personnel are trained to ask for "First name" because "Christian name" is a religious term. A Christian name is a name given during a Christian baptism.

Is anyone really offended that in a predominately Christian country, we ask for peoples Christian name? Is this religious sensitivity or political correctness?

Spincycle

2011-06-23T20:21:00.000+01:00

A friend of mine.... in fact a few friends of mine, believe in co-incidences and that things happen for a reason they also believe that once an idea is out there (even as a thought) someone will pick up on it and pursue

In the Daily Mail today is a story about student Richard Hewitt who has invented a washing machine that works on pedal power. The title of the product caught my eye Spin Cycle

Spin Cycle product design

The wheels power the rotary motion of the drum in the small washing machine which is attached to the back of a bike. A brilliant idea from a 21 year old degree student from Sheffield university.

In 2009 I compiled into a book my poems from 1994 to 2000. I called the book "Spin Cycle" and I illustrated the cover with a graphic of a cycle and a washing machine

Spin Cycle Book Cover Illustration, 2009

Hello, I'm Vegan

2011-06-18T19:01:00.001+01:00

Professor Gary Francione talking about veganism.. very enlightening video.

Kill It, Cut It, Use It.

2011-06-14T10:55:00.003+01:00

"Kill It, Cut It, Use It." is Julia Bradburys new program on the BBC, which explores the use of animal products in every day items, from leather used in car seats, to cow guts used in tennis rackets, and cow bones used in Bone China Dinner sets.

The shows aim was clearly to educate, whilst raising the question of whether it's morally right to kill animals for vanity and in one case, protection (one of the "bi-products" shown was a protein found in cow hoofs used in the foam of fire extinguishers used primarily for putting out aviation fires).

Julia took a group of people through the slaugher process to the final production of an item and then asked them whether it had effected their views.

From the Chav lads posing in their cars decked out with leather interiors who started out saying they didn't care, to the newly married couple who were curious as to the origins of their bone china wedding gifts - Julia showed them the process. In all cases the public ended up saying they had more respect for the people in the slaughter houses and also that it was okay to kill the animal for Leather, bone china etc because these items were a bi-product of the meat industry!

ARrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

The leather industry IS NOT A BI PRODUCT of the meat industry!!! It is the other way round. In the show the leather producer said that hides come into the depot from the slaughter house and they are worth about £100, when they leave they are worth £550! However, the slaughter man said that when the recession hit because people where no longer buying cars, the leather industry took a hit so therefor the price of hides dropped to £8! Now, if it's just a BI-PRODUCT.. then why is he bothered if the price drops! Surely he is making all his cash from meat??? The reason he's bothered about a drop in price is because a massive percentage of cash comes from the sale of cow hides. This was also suggested when a slaughter man was demonstrating skinning the animal, he stated how careful he had to be with the knife so as not to damage the skin. Any damage to the skin would show up on the final leather product!.. again, if it's a true bi-product then all that care would be unnecessary.

I find it incredibly sad that people can witness an animals death, and not make a connection to a loss of life - instead just see a burger or a tennis racket. Leather is not a bi-product. In every instances using animals was justified, by those onlookers as okay because it was a bi-product of eating meat! This is nonsense.

The cows in the program where shown being slaughtered, which I have to admit I couldn't watch, I found it too distressing. What I found to be ironic was before the cows were shot through the head by the slaughter man, he told Julia what a good life the cattle had and how the slaughterhouse operates a "best practice policy". This policy means that the slaughterhouse have "a high regard for animal welfare". WHAT?!!! Who are these people who have not only infected others with the silly notions that meat isn't murder, but given abattoirs use of terms like "animal welfare"? I'm astounded!! Really?? "Animal welfare"?

About 10 minutes later the cow were shot through the head with a gun! and then hung, drawn, bled out all whilst still moving.

"Animal welfare"- great abuse of the English language.

Wake up people!

Hey teacher, leave them kids alone

2011-06-13T12:53:00.001+01:00

Today I read in the paper about a Head of English at Walthamstow Academy who had been banned from teaching in every class in the UK, because when talking to some students he called them "love, darlin' or ugly face" along with pinching a boys ears whilst threatening to staple them to the wall and pinching a girls cheeks and calling her "baby cheeks".

As a supply teacher I had to question a few elements of this story. In a previous blog I outlined how I was reprimanded by senior management at a school for nicknaming a girl in the class gothgirl. She complained about me and I was warned. I said the name only one, in jest, and instantly apologised to her.

I've heard other teachers, long standing members of the profession who get incredible results year on year, saying all the things this teacher has said. Including the stapling ears comments. And every time it is said in jest or kindness. I wonder if a female teacher had said to a girl student "hey love, just pass me that pencil off the floor" whether they would have been questioned in this way?

I've taught in schools, where some female teachers use phrases, "darlin, hun, luv." It makes me cringe but those same teachers have a great rapport with the children.

Imagine a well established male woodwork teacher saying to a boy "put that stapler down Greg, or I'll staple your ears to that wall!" doesn't seem particularly offensive. The article doesn't give the exact details of how the teacher employed these phrases.

The problem is that the GTC (who banned him from teaching) and the school will see these remarks out of context when they are written down like this and conclude he's used threatening and derogatory language.

Sometimes, especially with challenging children, one of the best ways to reach them is to use humour. I find it hard to believe that someone who had reached a Head of Dept. position was using intentionally threatening behaviour towards students. There is always an exception of course and some teachers are rotten.

The media have an unhealthy appetite for attacking teachers. Teachers in the media are either paedophiles, or overpaid strikers, or seen as endlessly complaining. How about stories of teachers who do good work, like the vast majority?

Saatchi Online

2011-06-09T19:05:00.001+01:00

I'm a member of Saatchi-Online. For those who don't know what it is, it's an artists social networking site run by the Saatchi group. It allows you to upload works of art and also sell prints of them (a little like Deviant Art). Saatchionline also hosts competitions called Showdowns, in which members can submit one of their art works. The winner is receives a cash prize of $1000 and second prize $500 (I know it's America - I'm not sure why because Charles Saatchi is based in England) and is also exhibited at the Saatchi Gallery in London.

I submitted this painting then forgot all about it. The closing date for submissions came and went. I logged on to realise there had been 2,900 entries!

The first round is a public vote. If you have a Facebook account you can participate in the voting or if you are an artist and want to see up an account you can and then participate too.

On the main page you will see a "cast your vote" section - click that, then click the "Vote Now" button. This will present you with two images, you can decide to vote for one or go to another selection of two. If you have the time, come across my image and feel it's worthy enough to win, then I'd love you to vote for me :)

The problem is the images are randomised, so you might not even come across my picture (there are 2900 remember), however, I'm hoping you do, or at least you enjoy seeing some great art work.

During the public vote all participants are ranked in order from 1 - 2900, (1 being the post popular) this ranking shifts as their image is voted for or others are voted for. Only the top 300 will make it to the next round of judges. Fingers crossed I make it that far, currently I'm 1490 out of 2900.

---Update-- 20th June 2011.

The closing date for the Saatchi Contest was today.. and despite those two weeks of voting my art work still didn't make it into the final 300 :( Infact flutuated wildly then dropped back down only 20 places from where it was before.

I know I didn't make it into the final 300, but I am quite placed to have made it 1470 out of 2900 :)

String Theory; Immeasurable Love

2011-06-09T11:09:00.003+01:00

Based on several drawings I've done of knots I've made this new work called Immeasurable Love.

Pencil sketch, knotted string

Background grid, Acrylic & plaster on canvas, 55cm x 76cm, 2011

In progress - Adding lettering.

Immeasurable Love, Acrylic & plaster on canvas, 55cm x 76cm, 2011

Indian Call Centres

2011-06-02T20:33:00.001+01:00

In the news today, Birmingham City Council are ~~cutting~~ moving 70 UK jobs to India. New call centre workers are going to be flown over to the UK to be trained by those workers currently doing the job (talk about rubbing your nose in it) and then flown back to India to work for a lot lot less pay than their UK counterparts.

I don't run a council budget so it's hard for me to imagine, in the light of government cuts, some of the terrible choices they have to make. This choice surely is a silly one, not only because of the impact on those 70 people but also to the wider community.

I have rang many services who outsource to India, so I've had direct experience. They do a great job, however they are lacking in basic local knowledge and this is essential. There are also communication issues as many local terms or slang aren't known to the Indian call workers.

Call centre workers and other workers on low UK incomes (minimum wage) on average spend 64p in a pound of their wages in the private sector. As such these people, by working here, are supporting the economy as a whole. Outsourcing may well be cheaper to the tax payer - wages wise - but that money doesn't come back into the UK economy so it has a negative effect on us all. Add to that training costs involved in flying over the new staff, plus the costs of unemployment benefit of the 70 staff laid off, and costs of sending an expert out there to trouble-shoot occasionally. Combined means it's not worth the effort.

It's not just Brum City Council however, it's NHS direct, it's British Gas, its the water utilities, British Rail etc.. etc.. All these call centres work from India, all fueling the growing Indian economy. I don't have anything against the Indian economy growing, yet I don't think it's morally right to axe jobs here to employ workers there, simply to save a few thousand. Strikes me (why aren't they striking!?) that offering a pay cut to the call centre workers, making some part-time or even working less hours would have been preferable than sacking the workforce.

Bloggers Super-Injunction.

2011-05-27T11:22:00.002+01:00

As you may (or may not) have noticed the replies I've been leaving on my blogger posts do not have my profile picture. This is due to the fact Blogger won't log me in - to comment on my own blogs. I don't know why this is, When replying to a comment Blogger asks me to select a profile (I've only one!) after this I'm redirected to the log in page, so I type in my username/password. It then sends me back to the comment page and asked me to fill in the verification box, which I do, it then redirects to sign in page again, then back to verify again, and back to log in and on and on.. without ever posting.

I've had to take off the verification option, and extend the reply section to include anyone, not just registered users in order for me to comment back. And even then I'm commenting back as a guest.

Does anyone else have this problem?

My_People

2011-05-24T15:55:00.003+01:00

Taken from a traditional wedding vow, "your people will be my people" I constructed this next peice from used toilet rolls. It's meant to be a peice of string - continuing my String Theory series of images.

Cardboard and Papier-mâché on canvas.

Papier-mâché and grid

Acrylic, papier-mâché and grid

My_People, Acrylic, cardboard and Papier-mâché on canvas, 69cm x 26cm, 2011

Like Father Like Son

2011-05-20T18:42:00.002+01:00

A couple of years ago I worked in a long-term placement at one of my favourite schools. The Head of Art decided that all the sixth formers (and any staff member who were interested) could come together and recreate a famous artwork, to fill a space in the 6th form area. We all collaborated and reproduced Monet's garden. Each teacher/student had a canvas and a section of the painting. They were then invited to recreate the image in any media of their choice.

2009 Monet's Garden collage (left) and original (right)

This year the Head of Art is reproducing a woodland scene on a larger scale. Instead of 25 canvases, He has had cut 160 1foot square pieces of hardboard for teachers/students to use as a base.

I opted to do one of the squares and volunteered my dad to do another. My father, who has recently taken up painting, loved the idea of creating something that was slightly out of his comfort zone.

When I took part in the Monet collage in 2009 (my canvas is on the bottom row of the above picture - the one being held) I had major creative differences with the Head of Art about my submission. Which lead to debates on the nature of Art itself. I submitted a colour-by-numbers outline of the section I'd been given which was plastic wrapped and price tagged. I tried to subvert the rules as much as I could. This year I said I'd work by the rules and produce something more in keeping.

Ironically after giving my father the image he had to reproduce he asked me if he could bend the rules, if he could change the colours and the layout, if he could add another layer of meaning. I really couldn't believe how similar we were until he was asking me these questions.

We had squares vertically next to each other, father to son, which was very fitting as both of our squares depicted one single tree. Highlighted below are our two squares.

I created my image using old wallpaper which I had left over from decorating my house. My father used wall plugs to create a 3D image for his section.

Woodland 1, Plastic wall plugs on hardboard, 12" x 12", 2011

Woodland. Wallpaper on hardboard. 12" x 12", 2011

Amused to Death

2011-05-15T14:30:00.002+01:00

Art and music make me cry.

Several years ago I visited the Walsall gallery in the West Midlands and saw an installation that moved me to tears. In a room within the gallery the artist had made tiny shoe shaped objects out of bandages. They were coated in blood and coal. The shoes edged a square mound of coal. Projected on a wall was a blurred video of children joined by their hands and skipping in a circle singing "ring-a-ring of roses". Even before I'd read the artists accompanying notes about children dying from disease from working down coalmines, I was in tears. Seeing hundreds of tiny shoes, was such a powerful symbol. They looked like they'd been mummified, but the bandages were not egyptian they were dirty, and blood stained, not clean and precise. I forget who the artist was, but the overriding emotions from that day have always stayed with me.

Certain music makes me cry too. It has to be something I can get connected to musically and lyrically, so Jedward is not going to stir anything in me emotionally except for repulsion. One album that always brings me to tears is Amused to Death by Roger Waters, infact most of Pink Floyds output has this effect on me. There is something spiritual and meloncholy about the floyd that really resonates with me. The 1992 Roger Waters solo album, like his other records is a concept album. It doesn't, however attempt to tell story like The Wall.

Amused to Death deals with the worlds obession of viewing war as entertainment. The album starts with a voice clip/sample of an old man who we discover was a solider during the first world war. He tells the story of his friend was shot but still alive, how he tried to save him, but his wounded friend told him to go and leave him on the battlefield to die. The storyteller then speaks about how he felt such guilt for leaving him there and not being able to go back for him, and always wondering what happened him. This on it's own is enough to have me filling up..

The story is interrrupted by what sounds like a girl talking and the sound of a TV being turned over. "I don't mind if there is a war on, cos I like to know if our side is winning, or our side is losing" she says. Straight away the theme of the record is set, from reality to entertainment in 4 minutes.

Layered into the music are several film references from 2001 to 1984 also radio and sportscasters are used to move the narrative along. The other themes on the album include women as media sex objects, war as a computer game and consumerism. The record ends with the title song Amused to Death and the solider returns to give a moving account of when he saw his friends name on a memorial.

String Theory: Headship

2011-05-08T22:13:00.008+01:00

Based on another photograph taken by Bux, this image is shows two ropes going off into the distance. In my image I want the two ropes to represent two people connected through their commitment to each other and heading off into their lives together.

Two sailing ropes in Oslo, Bux, 2011

in progress, string, cardboard, papermache on canvas

with additional grid in acrylics

Headship: Acrylic, string and card on canvas. 53cm x74cm, 2011

String Theory - Rigging

2011-05-05T18:55:00.012+01:00

Taking a line from the Apache Blessing ritual, 'each of you will be companion to the other.' and combining it with my continuing theme of 'tying the knot', I've created my latest piece. I used as my inspiration this beautiful photograph of a ships rigging taken in Oslo by Bux.

Oslo Rigging. 2011, Bux

Computer generated pixelation, overlaid on the original image.

Development. String & cardboard papier-mâché.

Rigging. String, acrylic & cardboard with papier-mâché on canvas, 53cm x 74cm, 2011

Yes to AV

2011-05-04T14:16:00.001+01:00

In case anyone wondered what I think about AV!.. Vote Yes! It's been over 100 years since we (the people) had a chance to change our voting system, with the introduction of votes for women.

Even if like me you haven't got a referendum polling card (I don't know why, I've emailed my local MP about it) go to your nearest polling station and vote in the referendum.

It is your right, use it, or lose it.

If you are still undecided check out Dan Snows video on it. It makes it more understandable.

Osama Bin Laden

2011-05-03T11:07:00.006+01:00

After the Royal Wedding the next biggest story of the century (no doubt The Guardian will use that phrase soon enough) is the apparent death of Osama Bin Laden.

Bin Laden was the world's most wanted man and was held responsible for the 9/11 bombings. It's taken 10 years to find him, but according to George W Bush "he is most probably hiding in a cave, with the door shut!" (cos caves have doors!? - good ole George fearless ex-leader of the free world!) this might be why it's been so hard to locate Bin Laden - he's had the door shut!

The US found him and killed him, oh and then burnt his body on a river so he wouldn't become a martyr!

Is it just me? or is this total nonsense?

I loved the X-Files but I really didn't think I was living in a world where I'd actually need Mulder and Scully to tell me the truth is out there.

Why, when the US have the technology and information to find Bin Laden couldn't they have taken him alive? I don't know the circumstances surrounding his death, but I have to ask that surely keeping him alive, extracting terrorist cell information out of him, would have been more advantageous than simply killing him. And.. also.. small detail... but killing him? Who are we (US & UK) to kill anyone? This make the US & UK governments just as bad as the terrorists.

As for burning Bin Laden on a raft out at sea, he's not a sacrifice to the gods or a character from Arthurian legend. In killing Bin Laden this way they've made him a martyr.

Since 9/11 America (and by extension the UK) seems to have gone mad. We invaded Iraq then killed Saddam (we couldn't take him alive either.. strange pattern here) which was all justified by 9/11 and then Bin Laden and the Afghanistan war.. Why are we (the UK) involved in these conflicts?

Ohhhh I remember now.. OIL

(come back Mulder... got another X-File here)

Wills and Kate Wedding

2011-04-30T11:59:00.012+01:00

The nation’s media spends half the time plotting to overthrow the monarchy with undercover entrapment schemes for Prince Andrew and the Duchess of York, reporting in minute detail the slip-ups of Prince Philip and condemning Camilla and Prince Charles at every turn. Meanwhile Princess Di (god rest her soul) is seen as no less than saintly, in the eyes of the media. Diana is remembered and pictured as an insert against any image of Prince William whenever possible in the press. Interesting that days before her death Diana was captured cavorting on foreign beaches with Dodi Al-fayed, son of billionaire Mohammad Al-fayed - it was reported by the UK press as something the Princess should not be doing, moral outrage and all that.

The Royals are seen in this negative light until they are attacked (even in passing) in a student riot, tragically die in a French underpass or if there is a royal wedding. Any of these negatives are turned into flag waving, nationalistic positives in the press.

In case no one was aware suddenly every paper is pro-royal, every media outlet has to parade the union flag (the English flag is nowhere to be seen).

On the TV there is wall to wall coverage, from the early start and discussion about what the anchor men/women are wearing to what the celebrities might wear.

Moving onto debates about which designers could be on show and how many people might turn out and how many have already.

"What might the happy couple be thinking or feeling?" asks Philip (Pip) Scofield to some royal correspondent who is stood two feet in front of Buckingham Palace with no more insight than you or I. The correspondent tells the camera that he really has no more insight than you or I!

Then it's back to the studio with a segment about what you... the commoner, might wear to your wedding. Or as in my local paper, a story about a charity shop that's just been donated a number of designer wedding dresses worth £15,000. Then back to the advertisements, all the major brand names fighting for a spot in the "biggest event this century so far" (quote from The Guardian no less).

The wedding itself, dissected by hundreds of cameras, broadcast on all TV stations around the world, and seen online, on digital and heard on Radio 1 FM too. Is there no escape? It seems not. If there is an escape from it, it won't be reported anyway. An anti-wedding demonstration was held in my local park, which the local press didn't cover, the local radio ignored, local TV didn't film. Normally any demonstration, of this kind "women against the cuts!", would be headline news, but no negatives today. The nations media stands as one. Solidarity brother!

Even the working class, like Kates uncle who was seen earlier this week in cut down jeans and beer belly coming out of a corner shop, was invited to the wedding... "but why should he get an invite over Tony Blair" asked the Daily Mail. The paper then called Kates uncle “lazy” and a “common oink!” All because he is wearing cut down jeans! No not just that, because he's an ordinary man going to a Royal event. How dare he mingle with Royalty. WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS? .. The uncle of the bride, maybe!?

Anyways back to the wedding, the vicar comes out and wait.. this is another moment for the local press to spot a local connection. Apparently the vicar used to be a teacher, in the 70's, at a Hull school, therefore Hull is (in the local papers eyes) fully represented and we should all be proud! The one single street that applied to have a street party, in Hull, rejoices at the very thought of a Hull man marrying the happy couple. Paper crowns are thrown into the air and people shout "ey up der me laddo!" then feed their whippets on pork pies and clog dance down the cobbled streets!..

"Wills and Kate" as they've become known say their royal "I Do's" and slip rings on fingers. Next is the wedding photo on the balcony of Buck palace.. echos of 1981's famous royal wedding, quick chance to get a Princess Diana segment on the TV, pictures of Di, Elton John singing Candle in the Wind, blubberty blub.. then back to reality as everyone wonders is Kate pregnant? Yeah she probably is..

The dynamic duo then drive off in an Aston Martin down a recently reopened M25, which is crawling with detectives (who haven’t been given a day off) trying to work out how a scrap yard under the motorway went up in flames.

At the church, a verger performs a cartwheel down the empty red carpet in front of the cameras, oh the joy of seeing a man of the cloth doing gymnastics. No doubt the clip will go viral by the end of the day.

Over, finally over. But wait.. now the media need to reflect on it.. slow motion clips of the kiss, the ring, the car, the balcony, the cartwheel all have to be aired and voiced over. All those lingering questions like was Philip (Pip) Scofield wearing the right suit? Was the wedding covered from every possible angle? Was it shot in high definition? Where were the English Flags? Was 3D an option? Where was Dr. Who? How much did it all cost? How many millions to the tax payer? suddenly, bar-graphs and pie charts of Cost Vs Value, adorn the BBC newsnight and Gavin Esler asks John Snow to explain it with the help of his Swing-o-meter. And we are back to seeing the Royals as negatives once again, the default setting for the nations press.. No-one does hypocrisy quite like the British media.

Cool as a Cucumber

2011-04-24T23:45:00.003+01:00

I read stories about people slicing into fruit n veg and finding a portrait of Jesus or something and I think they've probably been photoshopped or it's a trick..

Then today when I was making a sandwich I sliced into a cucumber and found, beaming out at me, this smiley face :)

How cool is that?

The Bladdy Apprentice

2011-04-22T11:56:00.003+01:00

One of my favourites from Cassette Boy

Gemma Massey

2011-04-21T21:35:00.001+01:00

I clicked on the BBC website today to find a video link to an interview with Gemma Massey ex-page-3 girl now highest UK paid porn star.

The interview was very positive; people had twittered in questions like "How much do you get paid?" To which she replied "incredible amounts of money" Gemma then went onto list all the perks of the job, free plastic surgery, free house and car if she wanted it.

I was sat watching this video thinking is she glamourising the porn industry and making it seem acceptable for young girls (Gemma is 28) to go into?. Another question posed to Gemma was "What about STI's?" for which she said she's tested before the shoots (no pun intended) and every month - as are all her partners.

I think the most scary answer she gave was to the question "what did your parents think of what you are doing?" to which Gemma said initially they were upset but when they found out the amount of money involved they came round to the idea. If true, then I really do wonder about the nature of parents to guide their children into the right and wrong courses of life. I am not a parent, but I couldn't ever envisage a situation where I gave the thumbs up to my daughter being in porn.

I don't want people to think I'm a prude, far from it. I think there is always going to be a market for porn. What worries me is that children will view that interview which is on BBC Radio 1's Newsbeat website and number 2 in BBC Video news stories of the day and think being a porn-star an acceptable aspiration; Gemma should not be every girl’s role model. I find it very disturbing that the BBC can air such an unbalanced video.

Let's AV it!

2011-04-21T11:10:00.001+01:00

This morning I got the 'NOtoAV' leaflet through my door. I sat and read the incredible claims it made and then thought I'd do a little bit of research of my own to see if these facts were correct.

The first claim is that AV will cost £250million to run of which £91million is to switch over to AV, £130 million to have electronic ballot sorting machines and £26million to explain it to the obviously thick UK public.

In the countries that use AV, like Australia, votes are counted by hand not electronically. The YestoAV campaign have repeatedly said they have no intention of buying electronic counting machines because of the fear of electronic fraud.

The cost of AV currently is £82 million, this is the cost of the referendum. There are no further costs involved. I couldn't find a references for the £26 million figure so I've emailed the NOtoAV campaign directly on that. On the following section of the leaflet the NOtoAV campaign explain very clearly how AV works, thereby already reducing the £26 million costs of educating the dumb masses.

The pulling of heart-strings is next on the leaflet by suggesting how many doctors, teachers, etc could be paid for with the same money, are these doctors-teachers etc going to be employed for a single year? it doesn't say and as such is meaningless.

At the bottom of this side of the leaflet it says "At a time when people are losing their jobs or having their pay frozen, should we really be spending this money on a politicians' fix?"

The reason people are losing their jobs and enduring pay freezes is because of government cuts. Cuts that were mainly introduced under the Conservatives led coalition, who happen to support the NOtoAV campaign. The "politicians' fix" suggests that AV isn't anything to do with the people and it's just the elected officials that are interested - AV is a change to the democracy which effects everyone. It's not just a 'politicians' fix' (fix suggesting something is wrong)

I'm going to stop writing this blog now because in the process of hunting down images of the leaflet I came across another blog av-referendum-no-vote-leaflet which says everything I wanted to say and more. If you are interested in reading more I recommend it.

String Theory - Holy Ordinance, Faith, Companion and God

2011-04-20T14:29:00.003+01:00

Acrylic & Emulsion with card on calico, 68" x 13"

String Theory: working in progress

2011-04-10T18:17:00.000+01:00

Pencil on calico, 68" x 13"

Friendsreunited II

2011-04-10T11:34:00.000+01:00

I was saddened recently to read about someone I used to go to school with who is in court on charges of affray. Her son is also charged with ABH. Both were involved in a fight outside a local pub where a man was punched and died from his injuries moments later.

Grand National

2011-04-09T20:13:00.001+01:00

It happens every year, millions place bets on one horse race where a number of horses die!

I don't agree with horses being mounted by man, so to see the pictures from today's Grand National race at Aintree is very disturbing. Anyone who can look at these pictures, with joy at a potential win must have zero compassion as far as I can see.

Event commander Superintendent Julie Cooke said: 'It has been really busy but really, really good natured. 'I think everyone that has been here has had a really good time.' - as reported in the Daily Mail. She should hang her head in shame at the loss of life. I'm embarrassed to be a part of the human race when I read stories like this.

I have deliberately not tagged this post under "sport" because I don't view using animals in anyway sport. This includes labeling fox hunting as a "sport" or "polo". This isn't sport, it's animal abuse. Pure and simple.

Tied Up!

2011-04-05T21:59:00.001+01:00

Painting of a tie I'm currently workin on

Could you burn a million pounds?

2011-04-04T18:44:00.004+01:00

It still amazes me that someone has burnt a million pounds. The idea of destroying something that has such worth is mind blowing, but it just shows how my perception of value and cost has been altered by society.

In 1994 the K Foundation, an artistic group who made their money from the pop band KLF in the early 90's, decided to burn a cool million. They filmed the entire event declaring it as art.

In defence of their art, they said that they could have wasted the money in any number of ways and was it any more valid to buy a guitar shaped swimming pool or a very expensive house, than it was to simple burn the cash?

How do you feel about what they did? I think it's incredible and as a work of art it's something that I think often.

Spiral and Waking The Dead

2011-04-03T11:47:00.002+01:00

It's great to see the French crime drama Spiral, staring Caroline Proust, back on BBC4. It's certainly one of the best cop/crime programs I've seen on TV in a long time. Proust's character heads up a detective team solving crimes against all the bureaucracy and red tape of the French legal system. Incredibly atmospheric, funny in places - heart breaking in others, great acting, direction and exceptionally well written. Great to see it back on TV.

A lot of brilliant crime drama has come out of Europe over the last few years which has really put UK efforts to shame. Thankfully, we are not without our contenders 'Waking The Dead', for example, is also back on UK TV screens. Staring Trevor Eve and Sue Johnston as detective and psychologist, respectively, solving cold cases.

'Waking The Dead' still doesn't have that grittiness that 'Spiral' textures the small screen with nor does it have the muted colour palette that may only comes from Parisian daylight. What Waking the Dead and Spiral share, however, is two charismatic lead actors, exceptionally skilled in their trade, along with great supporting casts who add to the illusion of reality perfectly.

String Theory: I Thee Endow

2011-04-02T13:10:00.000+01:00

I Thee Endow. Acrylic and emulsion with plaster on calico. 1m x 1m. 2011

This is the latest painting in the series of images I'm creating around the theme of commitment. Using a term from traditional marriage vows, "I Thee Endow". Two strings (or maybe rings, or fingers) interlocking

Tales from the Chalkface

2011-04-01T13:13:00.007+01:00

Humour plays an important part in my teaching, as a supply teacher I don't know the children I teach, I come into a room cold, often greeted by insults and offensive behaviour. Managing this behaviour is challenging, I tend to use puns (Justin Bebo for example) as well as deliberately calling boys who maybe play fighting; girls or giving out nicknames to children. Nothing I've said in the classroom is offensive and if it is seen as such I am the first to apologise.

In every class of children there is always one with black hair, black eye liner and token goth band badges or wrist bands on. One such girl asked me yesterday if she could use the class felt tips, and I replied "course you can, gothy looking girl who I don't know the name of!" She grabbed a few pens and returned to her seat. A few moments later I noticed some whispering and offended looks coming my way from the year 7 girls on the third row back. "did you call Tina 'goth girl' sir?" shouted one of the 11 year olds. "yeah, why?" "She doesn't like being thought of as a Goth, and she's upset!!" Straight away I said.. ".. I'm sorry Tina, I didn't know your name, you have black hair and black eyeliner, if you are offended then I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were a goth I meant it as a joke!" To which the class erupted in laughter. Asking for silence I repeated how sorry I was, genuinely not intending to offend anyone.

This morning I got a call from my agency, telling me that the girl had made a complaint about me calling her names. The school have seen the funny side but wanted me to be made aware of it. Apparently the girl is very sensitive and shy; she wasn't too shy about reporting me however. The school have asked me to not give nicknames however endearing or harmless they may. I step ever close to being a robot

--

A lunch time supervisor (dinner lady to you and me) at a school I've worked at this week asked pupil what he had in his "paki" (abbreviation for packing up or packed lunch) someone misheard and reported her for being racist!

--

Teaching top set English you would think would be easy, however yesterdays 'quiet reading hour' was anything but. Despite the fact that I've visited that particular school a number of times over the last month, and taught that particular group before, one girl insisted on seeing my badge to check my credentials. I wear a name tag around my neck so all can see, but sometimes it swings about so I tuck it into my pocket leaving onto the blue strap with the words "Visitor" showing.

The children have been drilled recently in all of the schools I visit, (one even putting up insidious posters showing scary silhouettes of a man holding the hand of a child) about the possibility of strangers in the school. If a child comes into contact with someone they don't know who isn't wearing a name tag then they are to report them. Now I completely understand the thinking behind this, but in reality all it actually does is make the students feel insecure and give the confident and troublesome children reason to not do lesson tasks but instead debate with you about your status in the school.

Dead as a Bebo!

2011-03-31T18:19:00.003+01:00

Calling Justin Beiber - "Justin Bebo" was my little teachers pun, I'd been saying it for a few months in different schools, until yesterday when I happened to say it to a new group of year 7 students. (11 year olds) One said "What's Bebo?" He looked at his friend blankly who didn't have an answer. They both stared back puzzled, before I explained it was a social networking site. "Like Facebook, sir?" yes! I said "oh.. never heard of it!"

At that moment I realised that Bebo, once the entry point for social networking sites was no longer on the radar of most children. Bebo has gone the way of the Dodo.

Census 2011

2011-03-27T11:59:00.003+01:00

It's census day today although, I completed the census form last week online. The census is vitally important as it gives the government accurate statistics on who is living in the UK and what their needs are. The form took me about 10 minutes to complete.

There were two questions that I had to stop and think about.

1. Nationality

Am I White British or White English?

When I was at school we were told ‘English’ is a language and ‘British’ is nationality. With that in mind I'm classed as ‘White British.’ The form also contains subdivisions for White Welsh and White Scottish, aren't these also 'White British'? Should I have ticked White British after all?

I was born in England... am I English? What is English? I'm not sure how I can define Englishness, aside from giving a list of stereotypes like; stiff upper lip, Sunday roasts, top hats, 'cockney' southerners, 'by-ecck' northerners, tennis in the summer, cricket on Sundays, rugby, freedom, jolly hockey sticks, never showing emotions, elbow patches, irony, Shakespeare, Monty python ('cept one was American and one was welsh) the Beatles, swinging 60's, Victorian housing, queen and country, king and country, national health service, "by Jove", stately homes, seasick weekends, fish n chips, real ale, democracy, the BBC, brown sauce, Yorkshire puddings, bad weather and bored Sundays.

British by contrast must encompass not only all those English traits but also those Welsh and Scottish too, which might explain why I had some ginger in my beard (before it went grey) and also why I'm very tight with cash, like most Scots.

I ticked the "White British" box.

2. Religion

The other challenging question was "what is your religion?"

I'm not religious, yet I found myself wondering if I should tick the Christian box! I don't know why because I don't believe in a god. I live what I consider to be a Christian life, short of praying, I don't kill anyone, I don't eat animals, I don't abuse myself with drugs n drink etc, I'm not mean to people, I help others on a daily basis, I care for people...isn't that what being a Christian is all about? Maybe I’m more a social Christian than a practicing one.

And now a word from our sponsor

Teaching at the local sixth form college this week, a 17 year old girl in one of my classes told me how she found the census offensive. I asked her why, she said “because the government wants to know all our private details and they will use them to spy on us.” I stood there opened mouthed for a minute and said what kind of information she didn’t want the government to know? She said “well why do they want to know what qualifications I have?” “Why do they want to know how many cars we’ve got?... surely just so they can check we have paid tax and insurance!”

I told her that it was important to fill the form in because the government used the information on the forms to assess appropriate funding in different parts of the country, for example to faith based schools might receive less funding if the number of children attending them was lower, or in deprived areas of the country might gain more funds if unemployment levels are low. The census is one of the best indicators of population trends, not only that it would be useful for future generations who might wish to trace their family trees

Red Nose Day

2011-03-19T14:59:00.000Z

What a brilliant sketch from Red Nose Day 2011 - Give Now

Regrouping, Reforming, Rebanding

2011-03-19T12:27:00.002Z

Is Robbie Williams rejoining of Take That symptomatic of our cultural need to live in the past? I wonder when I see pictures of Take That back together again with tours sold out. Have they actually 'sold-out' as people, have they cashed in on our desire to have a dream fulfilled.

The perfect band line-up reunited, after years of splits and differences. The idea that there was a spark that could only be created by certain individuals and no other. A frozen moment in time that saw certain people at the peak of their creativeness.

To much media attention Fleetwood Mac's classic line up reformed for Bill Clinton's Inaugural Ball in 1993, despite their being over 16 different members of Fleetwood Mac over the course of their career, the Clinton's wanted the 1975-1987 line up of the band and sighted them as the definitive version of the group. The act of unity of the band, symbolising an act of unity in American politics. As if in reuniting an old rock band would reunite the American people.

In 2005, Bob Geldof used the idea of reuniting a band for his Live8 concert. If he could regroup the legendary Pink Floyd that would gain the media and public interest in the event. Regrouping one of the biggest and most influential prog-rock groups in the world would show exactly how important the Live 8 concerts were going to be. This would be a one-off get together however, and sadly with the untimely death of Rick Wright in 2008 it is now the only contemporary performance of the band with that line up. The event worked, for maybe cynical reasons or for raising awareness of third world poverty or debt - the regrouping of Pink Floyd took place. Tickets were sold out, fans wanted to be apart of this historic scene.

Do we have a need to see once bands regroup? and why?

I wonder if pop culture never really got over The Beatles splitting up. A band at the top of their game, who changed the world from fashion and music to literature and art. The end of the 60's and the end of The Beatles. At every interview all four members were asked if they were willing to regroup and the reply was usually.. "if the time was right, who knows." The time was never right, and in December 1980 it became impossible for The Beatles to ever physically reform on stage again.

When Bands do reform the groundswell of public love and support is huge. We reconnect with a part of ourselves, our youth is rekindled as these icons get back together. Suddenly first loves are remembered with fondness and old enemies are forgotten. Bad times become tainted with the rose coloured glass of distant memory. All to the tune of "Shine on you crazy diamond" or "Everything Changes".

The old machine of the music industry kicks in once again. Album - Tour - Sales, the boys are back in town and on the road again, this time with a bigger audience - cross generational even. We are all cynical of this regrouping and re branding. Are they doing it for money? for love? Why do people want to see a specific line up?

Take That without Robbie have been very successful over the last five years, infact more successful than they where with Robbie. Do they need him back in the band? Robbie's career was somewhat stalling, maybe he needed them more than they needed him? Or maybe the ego's of youth were truly put to one side as these older and wiser men now realise they are able to work together again. Whichever it is, women across the country rejoice as the the group regroup. Fans pack into arenas to see Take That perform as they did nearly 20 years ago, only now it's not only fans but fans with their children.

Last year I went to see A-ha at their farewell gig in Sheffield (see earlier blog post) on returning home I watched a few TV shows where A-ha had been interviewed. The band were announcing their split and instantly interviewer were asking when they would get back together? The said they couldn't rule anything out, but have no plans to play together again as A-ha. I must admit I felt saddened, but then I'm not sure why I felt that way. After all, the members of the band are still alive and being creative. I still have all their albums. I can play their music anytime I want. Maybe it is the thought that there is an end to creativity in band form is very sad. The idea that people can't get along, that nothing is forever. To quote George Harrison "all things must pass".

And what of The Beatles? without Lennon it would be impossible for them to reform.

To paraphrase Lennon when asked if The Beatles would get back together "The Beatles were a good little band, you've all got the records, if you wanna reminisce get them out."

In 1995, however, the impossible happened, the most influential band in history reformed. Yoko Ono, allowed a previously unused master-tape of John Lennon's voice to be used in the creation of a new Beatles song. The tape which featured Lennon singing with a piano was given the remaining Beatles and producer Jeff Lynne. Paul McCartney wrote a new bridge section for the song, and George filled it with his famous weeping guitar solos while Ringo added his distinctive drumming. The single was released under the The Beatles moniker and reacted Number two in the charts.

Even death couldn't stop the greatest band in history reforming. Anyone who bought the single (me included) wanted a piece of that Beatles history, wanted to be part of their lives, in some cases again, in others for the first time.

I Heart Animals

2011-03-16T20:54:00.000Z

No Nuclear

2011-03-15T10:41:00.005Z

Long before the events in Fukushima, I believed that nuclear power is unsafe, perhaps growing up in the shadow of Chernobyl tainted my view - images on the news of radioactive clouds from the Russian nuclear reactor distaster had travelled as far as Yorkshire. I've often wondered why man invests in something it can't control.

I know it's unpopular and liberal to say, however I have always thought that green ways were the best. While we still have enough fossil fuels left we need to be creating the infrastructure to take us forward and give us all energy security. The energy companies, in my view, base their business plans on short term financial gains for their shareholders, instead of the bigger picture of the countries energy needs. This capitalist model needs to change. We need secure forms of energy and this could mean setting up a government led energy company which would be there to provide free energy for all. If we pumped the resources into a "war on energy" as we do for the "war on terror" we could have the technology available to run our lives cheaper and cleaner.

Renewable resources we could use are.

Tidal power - Tidal power can be generated by deep sea wave turbines, like those which are currently powering 5000 homes in Wales and was built off the coast at St. David’s peninsula. We live on an island is there any reason why we haven't surrounded ourselves with wave turbines so that those communities which are coastal can benefit direction from free energy? These deep sea turbines are buried in the seabed and turn giant blades similar to wind turbines on the land.

Wave power - Wave power is a little harder to capture however, creating energy from waves on the surface of the water is still possible. Most wave power systems include the use of a floating buoyed device and generate energy through a snaking motion, or by mechanical movement from the wave’s peaks and troughs. Wave power is the transport of energy by ocean surface waves, and the capture of that energy to do useful work — for example for electricity generation, water desalination, or the pumping of water (into reservoirs).

Solar power - We've all had experience of solar power, our bodies get warmer in the sun, plants grow, and our very existence is based on solar power. Solar cells have been around now for over 30 years and they are now slim line and very effective. It is very sad that the funding of research into renewable resources stops once a new lake of oil is discovered. Mankind needs to look towards renewables particular solar to move forward.

Wind power - Hull, has been granted a contract by Siemens to make wind turbines, potentially giving employment to 10,000 people in the city. This is great news, even better news is that wind power in several countries has achieved relatively high levels of penetration, accounting for approximately 19% of electricity production in Denmark, 11% in Spain and Portugal, and 7% in Germany and the Republic of Ireland in 2008. The main opposition to wind is the look of the turbines and the supposed noise from them. Personally I think that a field of wind turbines in the country side is a magnificent sight. .

Hydroelectric power - Hydroelectricity is electricity generated by hydropower, i.e., the production of power through use of the gravitational force of falling or flowing water, a dam for example. It is the most widely used form of renewable energy. Once a hydroelectric complex is constructed, the project produces no direct waste. In 2003 19% of the world’s energy came from hydroelectric power.

Use less - reuse more.
recycle - reuse - reduce
soon we will have no choice.

Children Vs Kids

2011-03-11T09:38:00.001Z

I like teaching children. I hate teaching kids. This week I had an opportunity to teach kids and children at two different schools. One school filled with children, the other filled with kids. See if you can spot which is which.

School 1

Having given the instructions to the class on the topic and learning objectives of the day, I sat down behind the teacher’s desk. I asked if there were any questions and the class began to complete the first of three French question sheets. This lesson wasn't conducted under exam conditions. These students were Year 10's (aged 14/15). In between the random chatter I heard giggling, I glanced over to the direction of the noise and a guilty looking boy shouted, "Sir, can I tell you a joke?". Not knowing what to expect I said "Only if it's appropriate for the class to hear."

"Knock, knock.."
"Who's there?"
"Banana.."
"Banana who?

"Knock, knock.."
"Who's there?"
"Banana.."
"Banana who?

"Knock, knock.."
"Who's there?"
"Banana.."
"Banana who?

"Knock, Knock.." By this point I was getting frustrated but the other student were all about to burst with laughter..
"Who's there??" I said with a sigh!
"Orange!"
"Orange who?"
"Orange you're glad it's not a Banana??"

I have to admit I did laugh. I love silly jokes.

--

School 2

Year 8 (12-13 year olds) had entered the Textiles room, seated themselves, and asking me why Miss wasn't there, oh and who I was? A few of the boys at the back of the room suddenly burst out laughing, pointed at me and shouting. "It's PAUL the Alien... HAHAHA!!! look at him!!!" and another "OH MY GOD!!! haha have you seen his head!!!!" (I must confess, I hadn't heard of Paul the Alien so I Googled him and he's the star of the latest Simon Pegg film, seems I look just like him!) I ignored them. The laughter died down and three girls sat adjacent to me.

"Are we making our bags?" said one. "No" I said "That's something you can only do with Miss and she isn't here so you have to do this instead" I handed out a design project.

At this particular school each lesson lasts for 1 hour and 50 minutes. Usually, as a supply teacher, I can entertain a class for an hour but struggle after that. Teaching 3 x 1hr 50 min lessons was a real test of my professional metal. These students were not going to make it easy.

"Well, I'm not doing this!" said one of the girls "We don't know who you are and I want Miss!" I ignored her attention seeking and re-introduced myself with a smile! In the break before the lesson I'd managed to cobble together a design sheet of my own, as an example to show the students the kind of thing I was expecting from them. I'd done this on A3 paper, the students had been left A4 only. I had a spare sheet and without thinking, gave it to one of the girls when she if she could use. This instantly caused problems as the other two girls felt they too should be working on A3. The room was lined with cupboard and shelves. “All the paper is in here” said one of the girl opening a cupboard door and helping herself. I walked over and closed the cupboard. "Miss isn't here and she's left A4 for you to work on." I said.. "well, she's not working on it!!" pointing to the girl I'd allowed to use the A3! (at this point I looked at the clock and there was over an hour and a half left of the lesson) "I had one spare sheet" I said "I allowed her to use it.." "well I think you fancy her!" said the girl.. "that's why!".

"Stop acting silly!" I said to the girl, who then laughed in my face. I gave her a first warning - she laughed again.

Meanwhile 3 other girls in the back of the room had found some brand new pencils and started to throw them around the room.

"Ok" I shouted "You three!! First warnings!! Stop throwing pencils please!!"

Back at the front of the class, another girl was asking for felt pens even though she hadn't roughed out her designs. They had been asked to design an alternative bag for this lesson, coming up with different ideas and labelling the materials they'd use. "You've been left coloured pencils" I said pointing to the opened box.

"I'm going to get Miss from next door!" One of the girls snarled as she stormed out of the room. From the corridor I could hear "I hate him, he's not our normal teacher, I wanna make my bag and I can't cos he's useless, he doesn't know what we're even doing or what he's doing, he’s a crap teacher!" She'd not asked me what subject I taught, what experience I had, or even allowed me to instruct the class properly without talking over me, then had the gaul to say I'm crap as a teacher! I was looking forward to marking her report card at the end of the lesson (at the end of the lesson I gave her the lowest rating I could for each of her objectives on her daily report card!)

In walks another teacher and sits at the corner of the desk. "Hi Sir. Do you mind if I sit in?" I said that I didn't mind and would be glad of the help.

I love team teaching; it's great to take it in turns leading and supporting each other and the students. However to be effective both teachers must agree on the ground rules are. For example, if one agrees no one goes to the toilet, then the other can't allow it, students know this - after all, they have two parents and the first instinct is divide and conquer. If they can't get what they want from mum, try dad, but don’t tell dad what mum said.

Suddenly felt tips and A3 Cartridge paper was being bandied around the room. Miss was producing bubble style writing for their headings and generally giving them everything I'd denied them. GREAT!! I stood at the side and let her get on with it as I slowly reached a higher state of frustration. Of course, eventually they got bored of Miss and her attention giving, and started to play up again. I hate to say I told you so, so I didn't I just looked at the clock and was counting the minutes - 30 mins to go.

The students, by this point, had taken to climbing into the cupboards, swearing, shouting and making paper planes. No matter what sanction I threatened they just ignored - and I can understand why. I'm a supply, I had no backup and Miss had totally undermined me. A game of hide ‘n’ seek then started by the students. Miss left the room, returning moments later with a fistful of red slips (I'd never seen these before but they were half an hour detention slips!) She started to fill them in for each one of the 7 girls in the class of 22. They girls calmed down momentarily.

As the bell sounded I stood near the door and kept them all back 10 minutes into lunch.

I was physically shaking after they'd all gone.

--

Answers

school 1 = children
school 2 = kids.

Vegan Pancake Day

2011-03-08T19:03:00.002Z

I haven't had a pancake since I was about 19, so today, whilst waiting for paint to dry, I thought I'd look up how to make one.

9oz of flour
1oz of sugar
4 fl oz of soya milk
10 fl oz of water

It doesn't get any easier than that, oh yes it does!

I mixed the ingredients - they immediately lumped together, after 10 minutes of beating I suddenly remembered my blender. To the rescue I whizzed the mix in a minute and it was done. Next the pan.. nice n hot, oil a-plenty sorted. Thinking at this point I could give Delia Smith a run for her money. I stood tending my memories of childhood pancake days gone by. The edges started to turn so I feverish prized the mixture off the pan base.. NOOO.. Disaster.. The middle section had got welded to the bottom of the pan!.. It didn't say this on the net!.. grrr.. Now I have a glob of mixed which looks like the pancake monster has defecated in the pan. I dismissed this by thinking that it's all going to go down the same way, and maybe with some lemon and sugar it will be fine. It tasted ok.. but I wouldn't want to serve it to anyone.

Second attempt and just as bad. Thinking maybe I'd not put enough oil in the first time (was that the reason it stuck to the bottom of the pan) I put loads in to make sure this time. The poor pancake was swimming and soon started to dissolve. I kept at it thinking it'll be ok when it's "browned off" (technical term I picked up from watching 'Can't Cook - Won't Cook') Let me say here and now though, browning off doesn't make anything taste better. I chucked that attempted in the bin.

Third and final attempt: I was taking no chances now and got rid of nearly all the oil. I spread the mixture out thinly on the base of the pan. Watching for air bubbles (apparently that's how you can tell the underside is done!) I held my breath.. The corners started to turn upwards.

Arrghhhh.. I gingerly prised a fork under one side and it lifted! it hadn't stuck to the pan! I tried the other side it too hadn't stuck either. Success!! I could feel a celebratory cup of tea waiting for me like a gold medal at the Olympics. Turning the pancake over, the other side started to hiss and pop, in true Blue Peter style I lifted the pan from the hob and moved it side to side, working the content loose. Dare I flip it? My first proper vegan pancake!.. OF COURSE I DARE!!! With wrist action a Chinese table tennis champion would have been proud of I tossed that pancake all of about half an inch!! It was like a BMX Trickster doing a wheelie - only not as good.

Unloading the pans content on to the plate I remembered that the fun was actually in the eating as well as the tossing (at least that's what my granddad used to say) Adding lemon and sugar I rolled up this thin, tanned disc, cut off a section and tasted it..

I've got to say. I felt like I was 10 years old when I'd sit at the dinner table with my sister. My mum couldn't cook the pancakes quick enough. "Are there anymore?" "You've had 5!" She'd say.. Then we'd have to wait a whole year until the next time and when you're 10 a year is a very long time.

String Theory: Triptych

2011-03-08T13:16:00.006Z

Acrylic, emusion & plaster on canvas, 50cm x 76 cm (each), 2011

String Theory 2 - Finished

2011-03-04T16:15:00.001Z

Sting Theory 2. 1m x 1.4m, Acrylic with plaster & string on canvas.

The second image in my series of pictures about commitment and relationships - based on the 'tying the knot' phrase and also the hands tying ritual observed in many marriage ceremonies.

10cc

2011-03-04T15:23:00.005Z

Seeing Graham Gouldman perform live last night was an absolutely privilege. The '10cc' gig that my father had got tickets for, on occasion of my birthday, was great. The small Hull City Hall venue created an intimate surrounding and 10cc made everyone feel welcome. My father and I were sat in the second row, we were so close in fact that it felt uncomfortable and rude taking photographs (we just took one).

There are some songwriters who really know how to wring every pun and innuendo out of a phrase or idea and Gouldman/Stewart songwriting is no exception. One of the reasons I keep going back to 10cc tracks is all the extra meaning and clever word play that he uses in the songs.

The show started with a great acoustic set where Gouldman played songs from his songwriting days in the mid-60's. Between every song he would introduce a new member of the band. It was such a delight to hear these songs because I assumed that the show would be solely 10cc tracks and I am a fan of his early work.

Acoustic Set list included.

Heat Full of Soul - The Yardbirds
Evil Hearted You - The Yardbirds
Bus Stop - The Hollies
Look Through Any Window - The Hollies
No Milk Today - Hermans Hermits
Pamela Pamela - Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders.
For You Love - The Yardbirds

I think most people would pay just to hear those tracks, yet this was just the beginning of the show. Before the interval Graham performed one more song taken from the soundtrack of the cartoon Animalympics. If you are around my age you may remember this cartoon film, it was released in 1980 at the time of the Olympics. Gouldman wrote the songs for it.

Animalympics and Watership Down had a big impact on me as a child, the music undoubtedly helped.

Graham revealed that his dad had been a great inspiration in his life coming up with titles and ideas for songs. Including "No Milk Today" which he saw written on a note left out for a milkman, then he convinced Graham to write a song about it. This clip was taken in the Liverpool Phil from earlier on in the year. The view from the camera almost mirrors the view my father and I had last nite.

I've managed to find this next clip online with Graham talking about performing, It's two minutes long but well worth watching. The clip was filmed a couple of years ago and he still looks the same and has loads of energy on stage.

The 10cc songs performed included

Donna,
I'm Mandy, Fly Me
Art for Art's Sake
Silly Love
Life is a Minestrone
Good Morning Judge
Wall Street Shuffle
The Things we do For Love
I'm not in love
Rubber Bullets

To end the gig, Graham sang a solo acoustic version of 'Across the Universe' by The Beatles, in celebration of what would have been John Lennon's 70th Birthday this year.

Bus Stop

Bus stop, wet day, she's there I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus go, she stays love grows
Under my umbrella
All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine

That umbrella we employed it
By August she was mine

Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she'd shop and she would show me what she bought
All the people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

That's the way the whole thing started
Silly, but it's true
Thinking of a sweet romance
Beginning in a queue
Came the sun, the ice was melting
No more sheltering, now
Nice to think that that umbrella
Led me to a vow

Bus stop, wet day
She's there I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus go, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella
All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella we employed it
By August she was mine

Dadism Vs Top Gear

2011-02-28T19:28:00.000Z

Dad: You know that bloke from Top Gear?
Me: Er.. no, which one?
Dad: You know, that one they call The Hedgehog!
Me: You mean Richard Hammond, they call him The Hamster!
Dad: Yeah, that's him....

He then went on to explain that he'd once met Jeremy Clarkson at a motor show a few years ago.

Dadism Vs Fauvism

2011-02-26T11:46:00.002Z

I think when you become a father you almost automatically become a comedy genius. My father is no exception and has, in his time, said some gems. He's no stranger to puns or witticisms. One of my favourite one liners he said of my sister, who in her early 20's lived in many different places, moving so often that he once said "she doesn't clean up, she just moves house!!".

About three months ago, after seeing some of my paintings, my father announced he too was going to pick up a brush. He promptly ignored any art instruction I gave, bought a job lot of canvas and set about learning to paint. Googling Bob Ross, he soon proclaimed "I can do landscapes now, they bore me, I need a challenge, I'm moving onto portraits!" He'd been painting a month!

Matisse - Green Stripe

He's produced several very good portraits of family members. His paintings are somewhat Fauvist in style. He exaggerates, deliberately the colour and tone, in the same way the Fauves did. My father doesn't know who the Fauves were. One of the most famous Fauvist artists was Matisse, who, as you can see in the image above, used colour to represent dark and light tones. The word Fauves comes from the French for 'Wild Beasts' as many of the Fauvists painted in a wild and vivid manner.. similar to the Impressionists.

Jake by PW

All my dads paintings are based on photographs and in an effort to encourage him to use a 3D primary source, I suggested he paint my portrait from life. He agreed. For my first sitting he sketched out my face and spoke like a true artist saying "You know, your face doesn't have any distinguishing features!" It was all I could do not to crack up laughing! He continued by saying "...has anyone ever told you, you look like Guy Fawkes!?"

Car Insurance

2011-02-24T20:31:00.001Z

I got a new car (second hand) last March, the insurance (3rd party) cost me £180. The car is now one year older and I'm one year up on my no claims bonus. I was thinking my insurance would be around £160 mark. So you can imagine my astonishment when the cheapest quote I've been able to find was for £304!!!

Yeah! £304!! nearly double!! of course the insurers all throw in added extras that I don't want like European cover, £1250 of stereo cover, £100,000 of legal expenses cover and some are offering discounts on MOTS!.. well you know.. I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth but these things are not important to me. I wouldn't take my car abroad, I don't have an expensive stereo in the car, cos it would get nicked (then I'd have to claim and the following year my premium would increase!) and I live 3 doors down from a garage (which you can bet won't be in the insurers "network of approved garages")

I'm not happy, add to that I heard on the radio today that because of rising oil costs petrol is likely to rise by 10p at the pumps over the next 2 month!.. I just feel like what is the point? The sad fact is, if I worked at the same place everyday, and it was on a bus route I'd take the bus, or buy a bike. I'm not able to do that, I work in different schools everyday. I need my car to work. I don't want to sound cynical but I really want to shake my fist in some bankers face right now.

Add to that the rising cost of my vegan margarine, which has gone from £1.20 to £1.60 in the space of a month. I know there are starving people in the world and I know I'm extremely lucky to have my health and even own a car. Yet, I live a very modest lifestyle, I'm vegan, I don't smoke, drink and rarely go out, I don't own a TV, and I spend a lot of my time indoors - and yet I'm really feeling the pinch of this recession.

This year has seen a dramatic drop in my workload, some weeks I've been working 1 or 2 days were as the same period the year before would be a full working week. Add to that costs of vandalism to my car, and rising gas/electric prices, phone prices. I feel like I'm drowning on dry land.

This insurance cost is uncalled for. I can understand why people don't bother getting insurance. I've had insurance for 6 years and not once has it cost me more than £200 a year, and only once have I claimed, the claim was so minor it didn't even effect my no claims (and because of the excess I didn't actually get anything). So to have an increase in the quote price by double.. well I am just stunned.

String Theory 2a

2011-02-23T16:55:00.000Z

Work in progress - String Theory 2a

Hanging on the Telephone

2011-02-22T16:16:00.002Z

Music you'd expect to hear when put on-hold by large organisations..

The Inland Revenue
The Beatles - Taxman
Pink Floyd - Money
Pet Shop Boys - Opportunity
Abba - Money, Money, Money
Dire Straits - Money for Nothing

Electricity Company
Oasis - She's Electric
Prince - Electric Chair
Martha and the Vandellas - Heatwave
Sparks - This town aint big enough for the both of us.

Water Board
Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge over troubled water
David Gray - Dead in the Water
The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset
Abba - Waterloo

Gas Company
Rolling Stones - Jumping Jack Flash
Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight.

Telephone Operator
Blondie - Hanging on the Telephone
Electric Light Orcherstra - Telephone Line

If you can think of more.. then please add :)

Phones 4 U

2011-02-22T12:08:00.002Z

This was originally a comment that I’d planned to leave another blog. It started small but grew larger so I thought I'd make a blog out of it.

I'd really like to not have emails/MySpace/Blogger/a mobile sometimes. I miss the days when I wasn't so reachable.

I also miss the embarrassment with which I answered my first mobile phone call in a public place. Ducking into an alley and keeping the call short, speaking softly as not to be heard by other pedestrians. Giving other people respect by not interrupting their conversations.

In contrast, walking to work this morning my mobile rang and I shared my side of the conversation with a stranger by talking loudly.

During the second leg of my walk to work (no pun intended) there was an woman walking about 10 paces behind me, she was talking on her mobile, speaking in a different language very loudly. We walked in unison for about 10 minutes with her talking the length of the journey. I found myself getting more and more frustrated by not knowing what she was saying and her lack of respect for speaking on the phone so loudly. Then I realising I'd done the exact same thing earlier. It didn't really matter that I couldn't understand her, even if I had been able to; hearing one side of the conversation only I wouldn't have understood it.

Later I was walking home from work and my mobile phone rang, after I'd taken the call I wondered how we’d ever managed without mobile communication devices. Was it harder before? Without these instant links across the airwaves?

Schools have a policy of mobile phones being turned off in lesson, but students ignore this. It's a big problem because the children are constantly distracted, they text, msn, Google in lessons and there's nothing much I or other teachers can do. I spend a large amount of teaching time telling children to put their phones away. Then the excuses begin and at this point I'd like to make it clear that parents are just as bad as their children. Many times parents have rang/texted their children in lesson times!

Reasons why children have phones - given by parents and children.

1. Safety! This is the number one reason I’ve heard by parents and children as to why children have a phone! Are they any safer with a phone than without? What if the phone is lost/switched off or broken? I’ve seen a lot of children with broken phones! It’s also interesting how children remember to bring a phone, but not a pen or a pencil to school.

2. In case of emergency! When I was a child if there was an emergency, my parents rang the school office, a note would be delivered to my lesson, I'd leave the lesson. Simple. Now parents ring the child during lesson or text the child. Of course the student hasn’t turned their phone off so it rings or beeps.. disrupting everyone else.

3. In case of emergency outside of school! Maybe I'm just cynical, and I readily admit I don't have children, but are phones GPS devices for keeping tabs on children? What did we do before we had them? Did millions of children fall down open man-holes or get kidnapped? Its contradictory that parents are becoming more paranoid about their childrens whereabouts and keeping them in, and at the same time giving them a phone which encourages freedom.

4. Communicate with friends! Hmmm.. the friends that they see at school every day, the friends that they go to clubs and after school activities with, the friends that they chat to on msn nightly, the friends that they Facebook and email, those friends? Isn’t that enough communication without having a phone as well!?

You've probably realised I don't agree with children having phones. It's not just them; I don't think we are any better off as a society. I miss running to the phone box in the rain and making that desperate call to a girlfriend begging her to take you back! Banging the receiver down when the inserted 20p runs out. I miss reversing the charges to parents - when you’re on a school camping trip and are only allowed one call because the campsite is in a field somewhere miles from the nearest town. When I see clips of Glastonbury and the queues for the phone charging points, I feel sad that even at a festival which is about freedom, music, love, dancing, that we need to stand in a queue to enable us to text a friend to say that we’re having a good time; as if waiting until we’ve return and then looking at the holiday snaps “was so 1989!”

damn... just got a txt... bbl!xx

BBC Hustles sexism in football

2011-02-12T14:13:00.003Z

The sexism in football row that started with Richard Keys and Andy Gray on Sky seemed to have been the reason why last weeks episode of the BBCs Hustle was postponed and shown this week.

In the episode five con artists con a businessman out of £500,000 to save a small city football club. The show has its only female tricksters voted out of helping with the con because of her sex. The world of football portrayed as being run by men only. There was a flurry of mock-sexist jokes made and she was left back at base doing some R&D and make the tea. When she did get a role it was as a high powered solicitor, but she still remained the butt of mock-sexist jokes. Echoing those made by Richard Keys and Andy Gray.

I couldn't help but wonder why the BBC postponed broadcasting this show. Do they think the audience are cannot tell the difference between drama and real life? Did the BBC think the episode was sexist in someway? The jokes in the show were obviously a play on a stereotype and not intended to offend. Very disturbing that the BBC think drama should not be broadcast because of a minor news event.

The UK media's obsession with benefit cheats

2011-02-08T15:48:00.001Z

I feel like it's everyday I read in the UK's Daily Mail new paper about a benefit cheat. Whether they are swatters living rough in a million pound mansion or, like today's story, a family going on a £30,000 round the world cruise, the Daily Mail delight in informing the tax paying public.

I'm probably alone in my view of this, but I will say it anyway. I find it completely dishonest that the Daily Mail and most of the UK's national Press, as well as the UK's politicians bleat on about benefit cheats, when the biggest tax dodgers are among the highest earners in the country. There is a disproportionate amount of media coverage and attention being hoisted on the lower/working class members of society and how they are cheating benefits - than that of those millionaires who by clever legal ways evade paying millions in tax every year.

The fine line between what is legal and illegal tax evasion needs to be replaced with what is morally right and wrong. It is of course wrong for the benefit cheats to claim for something they are not entitled to, however the scale of their fraud in comparison to the scale the millionaires evading paying tax is completely different.

GM Crops

2011-02-06T15:47:00.007Z

I'm Vegan which means I don't eat animal products. This doesn't stop me being annoyed by the UK government who, according to The Observer, are going to back EU plans to permit the importing of animal feed which has been contaminated by unauthorised genetically modified crop.

Maybe I'm a denier because I don't believe the country a shortage of food. Not when I see how much we throw away ever year from supermarkets. The arguement that we need GM crop to help in battle against food shortages is incorrect. Even if there was a food shortage GM crop doesn't reseed. As I understand it GM would be no good for farmers as they would have to buy the seeds all over again from companies like Monstanto, every year. GM crop has also not undergone any rigourous long term testing, by that I mean testing that sees its long term effects. What are it's effects on people after they've been eating it for 30 years or 40? There is no data on this.

Sea Otters

2011-02-05T19:00:00.001Z

Sea Otters holding hands while they sleep to make sure they don't drift apart

In Cars

2011-02-02T08:38:00.005Z

My last car had been vandalised so many times that I gave up cleaning it. Didn't seem much point in maintaining something for idiots to break into. Here is a list of vandalised car damage I've had since I passed my driving test in 2005.

Ford Fiesta 2005-2005

After owning it only 4 months I parked it up one day after work, a couple of hours later a joy rider drove into it writing it off completely.

Vauxhall Corsa 2005-2010

4 x driver door bent back
2 x passenger door bent back
1 x smashed side window
1 x smashed CD player
1 x stolen tape deck
1 x damaged steering column
1 x damaged dash board
1 x set of furry dice stolen
and a cuddly toy (like in the generation game)

Ford KA - 2010 -

Keyed by children who I teach!

Since children keyed my Ka, I decided to park it up at a local nearby community centre. The lady who runs it gave me a key to the car park but warned me that time to time they too are broken into. She couldn't guarantee the safety of my vehicle. This was 6 months ago.

On Monday morning I went to the centre to pick up my car only to discover someone had smashed the windscreen and damaged both wing mirrors. I called in at the centre to mention it to the manger, she said that vandals had been on her flat room trying to take out a window!

Thankfully my dad could give me a lift to work, after which I took the car in to a garage to get fixed - costing £89 (which I thought was a good deal considering it was the front screen). I got some second hand wing mirrors for £20 and fitted them. The car looks as good as new. I'm now having to park it back outside my house.

In an email the manager of the centre informed me that the police had contacted them and the next day the centre was broken into again! All this yet on the police crime map website my street only has 4 crime counts - non of which are car related!